It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

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We once roamed the vast forums of Corona Coming Attractions. Some of us had been around from The Before Times, in the Days of Excelsior, while others of us had only recently begun our trek. When our home became filled with much evil, including the villainous Cannot-Post-in-This-Browser and the dreaded Cannot-Log-In, we flounced away most huffily to this new home away from home. We follow the flag of Jubboiter and talk about movies, life, the universe, and everything, often in a most vulgar fashion. All are welcome here, so long as they do not take offense to our particular idiom.
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Mal Shot First
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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by Mal Shot First » September 10th, 2016, 6:37 pm

Dalty wrote:I have finally found a pair of cheap, trashy lesbians that are completely incapable of turning me on. Well played God, well played.
You haven't met many real-life lesbians, have you.

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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by Dalty » September 11th, 2016, 3:31 am

Nope! Not any that are related any ways.

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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » September 26th, 2016, 8:09 pm


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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by Dalty » September 27th, 2016, 12:51 pm

This meth sounds awesome!

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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » October 12th, 2016, 7:48 am

Indiana Mom Says She Decided to Kill Kids after Amber Alert

I don't know to what degree this plays into things, but the Indiana mom's name is Amber. She said she killed her kids "so they'd be safe in heaven."

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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by Dalty » October 12th, 2016, 8:48 am

I have looked at her picture and I remain to be convinced that she didn't eat them.

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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » October 16th, 2016, 5:51 pm


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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by Mal Shot First » October 17th, 2016, 10:32 am

I like that he's from a place called Halfmoon. If you're going to be hallucinating on LSD, there are few places more fitting than Halfmoon - specifically the dark half.

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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » October 17th, 2016, 11:20 am


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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by Mal Shot First » October 17th, 2016, 11:40 am

Do you feel like wolf kabob brain damage?

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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » October 17th, 2016, 12:45 pm

I feel blame.

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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » November 14th, 2016, 11:59 pm


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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by Dalty » November 15th, 2016, 11:43 am

I blame Trump!

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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » June 8th, 2017, 8:29 am


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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » September 16th, 2017, 1:26 pm


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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » September 19th, 2017, 11:45 am


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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by Mal Shot First » September 19th, 2017, 5:44 pm

The word choice in the headline "Family Fed Up With Park Defecation" is just perfect. :D

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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by Dalty » September 20th, 2017, 5:16 am

They aren't going to take this shit any longer!

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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » September 20th, 2017, 5:58 am

They're upset enough with it at its current length.

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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by Mal Shot First » September 20th, 2017, 6:17 am

Dalty wrote:
September 20th, 2017, 5:16 am
They aren't going to take this shit any longer!
There is some shit they will not eat.

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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » October 4th, 2017, 9:58 pm


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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » January 19th, 2018, 8:03 pm


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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » January 27th, 2018, 11:25 pm

Man Sentenced for Slitting Wife's Throat after She Uncovered Evidence of His Affair with Middle-School Student

I think this one deserves to be read in full:
A former Michigan teacher was sentenced on Tuesday for trying to kill his wife after she discovered he was having an extramarital affair, according to the Associated Press.

James Chelekis, 32, pleaded no contest to attempted murder for attacking his wife, Amanda, at their home in June 2017 after she confronted him with evidence that he was cheating on her.

At the time of the confrontation, Amanda reportedly did not know that her husband's year-long affair was with a 14-year-old middle school girl, who he met when she was a student in his 8th-grade math class.

Image

During her harrowing testimony, Amanda described how she and her husband spent most of the evening of the attack discussing the affair before ultimately agreeing to marriage counseling. Then, without warning, he tried to kill her.

"He came out of the closet behind me, my head was tipped back resting on the back of the chair with my eyes closed," she said in court. "Standing behind me, he kissed my forehead and slit my throat from one side to the other."

PEOPLE reports that while Amanda was bleeding out on the floor, Chelekis read Bible verses to her and texted with his teenaged sexual abuse victim, who eventually convinced the ex-teacher to call 911 an hour after the attack.

Amanda, who is a nurse, was able to pinch her own artery to stop herself from bleeding to death during the long ordeal.

Both of the couple's young daughters were allegedly home during the attack, but neither child was aware of what was going on.

"Someday when it is developmentally appropriate, I have to tell [the children] their father is not with us because he tried to kill me," Amanda said in court while Chelekis wept.

Shortly after the attack, Amanda filed for a divorce.

Chelekis was sentenced on Tuesday to 30 to 60 years for assault with intent to murder and 15 to 40 years for two counts of criminal sexual conduct.

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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by Space Tycoon » January 28th, 2018, 6:04 pm

Sounds familiar...wait a minute. Wasn't this a Married With Children episode??

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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by Space Tycoon » January 29th, 2018, 10:19 am

Bad joke, alright...

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