It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

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We once roamed the vast forums of Corona Coming Attractions. Some of us had been around from The Before Times, in the Days of Excelsior, while others of us had only recently begun our trek. When our home became filled with much evil, including the villainous Cannot-Post-in-This-Browser and the dreaded Cannot-Log-In, we flounced away most huffily to this new home away from home. We follow the flag of Jubboiter and talk about movies, life, the universe, and everything, often in a most vulgar fashion. All are welcome here, so long as they do not take offense to our particular idiom.
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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by Space Tycoon » December 6th, 2015, 11:39 am


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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by Dalty » December 6th, 2015, 12:58 pm

My Dad had to deal with the Russians in a professional capacity back in the 70s and today still says they are frighteningly irrational.

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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by Space Tycoon » December 6th, 2015, 1:11 pm

Zhirinovsky makes Putin look like Gorbachev.

In what professional capacity, if I may ask?

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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by Dalty » December 6th, 2015, 4:21 pm

He was Director of Engineering for the BBC and ran the techie stuff behind the BBC World Service so spent a lot of time in overseas studios.

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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by Space Tycoon » December 6th, 2015, 7:30 pm

Interesting.

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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by Dalty » December 18th, 2015, 7:31 am


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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by Mal Shot First » December 18th, 2015, 7:52 am

Augusta County is pretty close to where I went to college.

Fun fact: It's also the location of the town of Staunton, which prides itself on its theater modeled after the Globe Theatre. I went there on a high school trip to watch a production of Much Ado About Nothing.

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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » December 18th, 2015, 10:20 am

I hope they would have also shut the school down if the assignment had been to copy the twenty-third Psalm.

Not that it matters. It's obvious this was a calculated move to help teachers recover from their late-night viewings of The Force Awakens. It also gives the kids all day Friday to see it.

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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by Dalty » December 18th, 2015, 4:21 pm


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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » January 9th, 2016, 12:31 am

This police sketch artist clearly hasn't forgotten about Dre:

http://www.fox5atlanta.com/news/24328676-story

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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » January 9th, 2016, 12:35 am

Image

Image

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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » January 9th, 2016, 12:39 am

Jesus. This story just got wackier:

http://news.wabe.org/post/gbi-forensic- ... gia-family

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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » January 27th, 2016, 2:24 am



Naturally, somebody's already done this to the footage:


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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by Dalty » January 27th, 2016, 1:53 pm

Get the feeling neither of those guys really had their hearts in it?

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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » January 27th, 2016, 2:32 pm

It's because neither was blocked in by a Comcast truck.

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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by Dalty » January 27th, 2016, 3:52 pm

If you are going to whip out a bat, best fucking use it!

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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by Dalty » February 16th, 2016, 12:45 pm

Ladies and Gentlemen. I present to you:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-ma ... r-35587817

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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by Space Tycoon » February 19th, 2016, 5:26 pm

Dalty wrote:Ladies and Gentlemen. I present to you:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-ma ... r-35587817
Jeez, they should be getting sloshed at the pub, instead.

So should I! It's been like a week already.

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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by Space Tycoon » February 19th, 2016, 5:27 pm

Ah, gotta love the social justice brigades...:

http://www.theamericanconservative.com/ ... ors-opera/

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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » March 13th, 2016, 9:36 pm


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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » March 13th, 2016, 9:45 pm

I want to see the unedited video, but I also don't want to waste more than a minute or two looking for the unedited video.

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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by Dalty » March 13th, 2016, 11:52 pm

I thought my cornflakes tasted better than usual.

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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » March 28th, 2016, 11:42 am



"Ow! Blew my leg off!"

I guess I could have also posted this one in "Guns and guns and guns and guns!"

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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » April 15th, 2016, 11:55 am

Georgia Principal Paddles 5-Year-Old while Mom Stands by Helpless

It's not Alabama, but it's still legal in Alabama. It's also still done. It's not limited to a specific age group. Most of the public school kids from kindergarten all the way up to twelfth grade are eligible for paddling. ("Most of" is there because I'm not sure about the legality of spanking disabled kids or kids who are legal adults. There are plenty of nineteen- and twenty-year-old kids still in high school in Alabama.)

My cousin, who lives in Alabama, posted the link. She had this to say about it: "I саn't figurе this оut. Thе mоm wаs right thеrе if it wаs sо wrоng whу didn't shе stер in? Аnd if thе bоу sрit in аnоthеr сhild's fасе thеn thаt is whаt hе nееdеd."

Thе mоthеr аnswеrs this vеrу quеstiоn in thе vidео сарtiоn: "thеу tоld mе if hе соuld nоt gеt а раddling hе wоuld hаvе tо bе susреndеd аnd if hе gоt susреndеd fоr еvеn оnе dау I WILL gо tо jаil fоr truаnсу... Jаsреr соuntу mаdе mе dо this... I соuld nоt gо tо jаil оr mу kids wоuld hаvе nоthing ... I саn't tаkе саrе оf mу kids in jаil... Аnd I wаs nоt tеxting I wаs rесоrding this... I соuldn't dо аnуthing tо stор thеm." (Shе tеlls thе kid shе's tеxting аt оnе роint аnd thаt shе's nоt listеning tо him. Shе рrоbаblу dоеs this sо hе wоn't guеss thаt shе's recording.)

Hеrе's hоw sоmеоnе rеsроndеd tо mу соusin's роst: "I sо аgrее I dоn't think it is wrоng fоr kids whо misbеhаvе tо gеt sраnkings. Thе mоm рrоbаblу wаs оnе оf thоsе whо didn't disсiрlinе hеr kids аt hоmе. Thаt is whу hе sрit in thе kids fасе tо bеgin with. Rаisе thеm right. Whеn wе wеrе in first grаdе I gоt а раddling fоr lаughing in thе bаthrооm. Kids thеsе dауs hаvе it tоо еаsу."

Mу соusin's rеsроnsе tо this: "Yоu аrе sо right! Аnd nоw thе mоm is stirring uр а big stink fоr а sсhооl thаt in mу орiniоn hаndlе thе situаtiоn right. SMH.....rеаllу??"

Аnоthеr rеsроnsе frоm аnоthеr реrsоn: "Thе mоm shоuld hаvе bееn thе оnе with thе раddlе!!"

Аnоthеr rеsроnsе frоm уеt аnоthеr реrsоn: "Еxасtlу whаt I thоught. I wоuld hаvе sаid hоld thе rесоrdеr I аm gоin tо dо it. Асtuаllу, Sсоtt саmе tо thе sсhооl whеn оnе оf оurs wаs n 1st аnd tооk саrе оf аn issuе himsеlf. Thе issuе wаs nеvеr аgаin rереаtеd."

Еvеrу singlе rеsроnsе tо thе link is а рrо-sраnking rеsроnsе.

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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » April 15th, 2016, 12:12 pm

This is the cousin whose father is a celebrity chef and who has a three-year-old who weighs over sixty pounds. This same three-year-old recently had to go to the hospital because he got his hands on his older sister's ADHD medication and ate the contents of it like it was candy.

It would be a logical leap for me to tie the kid's weight and his hospitalization to bad parenting or a lack of proper discipline, so I won't. Besides, I have a pretty fucked-up kid of my own. I mention the kid and his hospitalization for the same reason I mention the cousin's celebrity chef father: these are the things about her that are interesting to me. We were in the same grade (and occasionally the same class) together. I didn't find all that interesting when we were growing up together. Her father and her kid, though? Those are interesting. The kid's huge. It's a sight to see.

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