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Re: The Pro Wrestling Thread

Posted: March 18th, 2017, 9:17 am
by The Swollen Goiter of God
Adam54 wrote:
March 18th, 2017, 8:44 am
I met Bray Wyatt yesterday. Quite possibly the coolest dude on the planet and I want to be his best friend.
He's an articulate man from the South, he has a beard, and he's pretty much exactly my size. It's like you're friends with him already!

Re: The Pro Wrestling Thread

Posted: March 18th, 2017, 9:51 am
by Mal Shot First
Adam54 wrote:
March 18th, 2017, 8:44 am
I met Bray Wyatt yesterday. Quite possibly the coolest dude on the planet and I want to be his best friend.
Did he bray at you?

Re: The Pro Wrestling Thread

Posted: March 18th, 2017, 3:14 pm
by Adam54
The Swollen Goiter of God wrote:
March 18th, 2017, 9:17 am
Adam54 wrote:
March 18th, 2017, 8:44 am
I met Bray Wyatt yesterday. Quite possibly the coolest dude on the planet and I want to be his best friend.
He's an articulate man from the South, he has a beard, and he's pretty much exactly my size. It's like you're friends with him already!
Ask me how many puns he made when we spoke.

Re: The Pro Wrestling Thread

Posted: March 18th, 2017, 3:41 pm
by The Swollen Goiter of God
I bet there were a few. It's likely you just didn't catch 'em, though, since they were delivered orally. Textual Goits and Oral Goits are two different beasts.

Re: The Pro Wrestling Thread

Posted: March 21st, 2017, 9:47 am
by Master Skywalker
Adam54 wrote:
March 18th, 2017, 8:44 am
I met Bray Wyatt yesterday. Quite possibly the coolest dude on the planet and I want to be his best friend.
Damn! That's awesome! Where'd you meet him and what did you say?

Re: The Pro Wrestling Thread

Posted: March 21st, 2017, 2:46 pm
by The Swollen Goiter of God
He met him in the bathroom, and he said, "Before you speak, you should know that I'm unhinged and that if I hear you utter even the tiniest of puns, I will utterly come apart at the seams. So don't speak, and let me remember you this way. Oh, and just to allay any fears, I'm not wearing any concealed weapon of any kind about my person, so you don't have to worry about humoring my request out of fear. No. You'd only be humoring me out of respect. Again, no concealed weapons. Do you understand? If you do, just, like, continue not saying anything. Good. My god, you respect me! You really respect me! I shall remember this day forever and ever! You've... you've shown me the light, Bray Wyatt. No! NO! It's not what you think! I was speaking in earnest, and not making some kind of reference to your lantern. No, no. I realize that such a reference wouldn't have been a pun and that I am still clean of mind and of spirit. OK. Good. Good chat. I'm going to back out of your stall ever so slowly, but I'm not going to try to shoot or threaten you with the pistol that I'm not concealing. Thank you. Thank you ever so much. Thank you for your stony, respectful, light-showing silence."

Re: The Pro Wrestling Thread

Posted: March 23rd, 2017, 8:51 am
by Master Skywalker
The Swollen Goiter of God wrote:
March 21st, 2017, 2:46 pm
He met him in the bathroom, and he said, "Before you speak, you should know that I'm unhinged and that if I hear you utter even the tiniest of puns, I will utterly come apart at the seams. So don't speak, and let me remember you this way. Oh, and just to allay any fears, I'm not wearing any concealed weapon of any kind about my person, so you don't have to worry about humoring my request out of fear. No. You'd only be humoring me out of respect. Again, no concealed weapons. Do you understand? If you do, just, like, continue not saying anything. Good. My god, you respect me! You really respect me! I shall remember this day forever and ever! You've... you've shown me the light, Bray Wyatt. No! NO! It's not what you think! I was speaking in earnest, and not making some kind of reference to your lantern. No, no. I realize that such a reference wouldn't have been a pun and that I am still clean of mind and of spirit. OK. Good. Good chat. I'm going to back out of your stall ever so slowly, but I'm not going to try to shoot or threaten you with the pistol that I'm not concealing. Thank you. Thank you ever so much. Thank you for your stony, respectful, light-showing silence."
Where's my damn Orson Welles applauding gif? :D

Re: The Pro Wrestling Thread

Posted: March 23rd, 2017, 3:36 pm
by The Swollen Goiter of God
It's at home... washin' its tights!

Re: The Pro Wrestling Thread

Posted: March 23rd, 2017, 4:45 pm
by Dalty
Why not washing his home whilst wearing tights?

Re: The Pro Wrestling Thread

Posted: March 23rd, 2017, 6:09 pm
by The Swollen Goiter of God
Well, that's just silly.

Re: The Pro Wrestling Thread

Posted: March 24th, 2017, 7:21 am
by Adam54
Master Skywalker wrote:
March 21st, 2017, 9:47 am
Adam54 wrote:
March 18th, 2017, 8:44 am
I met Bray Wyatt yesterday. Quite possibly the coolest dude on the planet and I want to be his best friend.
Damn! That's awesome! Where'd you meet him and what did you say?
He was at the Minneapolis Car Show, weirdly enough and it went exactly as Goiter said.

Except that it actually went more like this, I walked up when he was commenting to some staff member about how fast the line was moving.

Adam: "No complaints out of me!"
Bray: "Right, man? How you doin'?"
Adam: "Doing good! Great to meet you, big fan!"
Bray: "Thanks brother, appreciate that. Great to meet you as well."

*pause for photo op. Dude's got a helluva firm handshake*

Adam: "Thanks for doing what you do, man." *touches THE REAL WWE CHAMPIONSHIP BELT that was sitting on the table* "Really happy to see you finally get this."
Bray: "Oh you and me both brother." *belly laugh* "Have a good rest of your night."

He then finished off the line, left for a while, and came back and wandered around the floor of the stadium with the rest of us just looking at cars.

Random Lady: *stunned* "Well are you just walking around down here like a real person?!"
Bray: *stunned she'd ask such a strange question* "Well I just really like cars!"

He posed for photos with anybody who asked, shook hands, talked to anybody who approached him and I could hear him laughing any where on the show floor. Great, great guy.

Re: The Pro Wrestling Thread

Posted: March 24th, 2017, 6:47 pm
by Dalty
Was there any kayfebe?

Re: The Pro Wrestling Thread

Posted: March 25th, 2017, 6:36 am
by Mal Shot First
Is kayfebe a feeble attempt at kayfabe?

Re: The Pro Wrestling Thread

Posted: May 17th, 2017, 9:07 pm
by The Swollen Goiter of God


"Get ready to Dwayne the swamp!" is a good line.

Re: The Pro Wrestling Thread

Posted: May 18th, 2017, 12:24 pm
by Dalty
I'd vote for him. Also, US Politics is such a comedy circus he would probably win.

Re: The Pro Wrestling Thread

Posted: August 10th, 2017, 1:53 pm
by Adam54
I'm going to WWE TLC in October in Minneapolis.

I've got an extra ticket with your name on it, Dimple!

Re: The Pro Wrestling Thread

Posted: August 10th, 2017, 2:29 pm
by Mal Shot First
I'm pretty sure Dalty gets enough TLC at home.

Re: The Pro Wrestling Thread

Posted: August 10th, 2017, 8:11 pm
by The Swollen Goiter of God
They had to stop calling it "The Learning Channel," because all it shows now is shitty reality content, and the only thing anyone can learn from watching is how to be just the worst fucking sort of human imaginable.

Re: The Pro Wrestling Thread

Posted: August 10th, 2017, 8:46 pm
by Mal Shot First
Hey, learnin' is learnin'.

Re: The Pro Wrestling Thread

Posted: August 10th, 2017, 9:44 pm
by The Swollen Goiter of God
It's one quarter Learning and 1/4 Reality. The other half is Knowing.

G.I. JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOEE!

Re: The Pro Wrestling Thread

Posted: August 11th, 2017, 12:05 pm
by Dalty
October I will be in Vietnam visiting the in-laws with Dalty Jr for the first time.

If I come to a wrestling match with you Adam, can I be drunk?

Re: The Pro Wrestling Thread

Posted: August 11th, 2017, 12:17 pm
by Mal Shot First
I think it would be an insult to wrestling if you weren't drunk.

Wasn't chugging beer Stone Cold Steve Austin's entire shtick?

Re: The Pro Wrestling Thread

Posted: August 11th, 2017, 2:16 pm
by The Swollen Goiter of God
"Speak gruffly and carry a big shtick!" was his motto.

Re: The Pro Wrestling Thread

Posted: August 12th, 2017, 11:09 pm
by neglet
Is this an appropriate place to talk about "GLOW?" Because that show is awesome (binged it over two days) and I will never post in this thread otherwise.

Re: The Pro Wrestling Thread

Posted: August 13th, 2017, 3:26 pm
by Mango
"GLOW" is awesome, I mentioned it is the 'what are you watching' thread.
I thought for a show focusing on such an 'extreme' situation it felt really grounded, with interesting and believable characters.

Also, Zoya the Destroya is the best name ever.