Teach Dalty American!

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We once roamed the vast forums of Corona Coming Attractions. Some of us had been around from The Before Times, in the Days of Excelsior, while others of us had only recently begun our trek. When our home became filled with much evil, including the villainous Cannot-Post-in-This-Browser and the dreaded Cannot-Log-In, we flounced away most huffily to this new home away from home. We follow the flag of Jubboiter and talk about movies, life, the universe, and everything, often in a most vulgar fashion. All are welcome here, so long as they do not take offense to our particular idiom.
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Dalty
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Re: Teach Dalty American!

Post by Dalty »

No. Too obvious.
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Re: Teach Dalty American!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God »

There's something we've never told you about "too obvious." Maybe it's time we told you. Here it is: too obvious is always funnier than something that's just a step to the left of too obvious. Why? Too obvious calls less attention to itself. A paradox? Maybe. But true.
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Re: Teach Dalty American!

Post by Dalty »

Inconceivable.
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Re: Teach Dalty American!

Post by Dalty »

What is baloney, really, and why is it also an expression of disbelief?
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Re: Teach Dalty American!

Post by Mal Shot First »

Baloney is a variant of bologna sausage.

As sausages go, baloney isn't very high in quality. I imagine that's why people say that something is baloney when it's crap.
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Re: Teach Dalty American!

Post by Dalty »

So not reprocessed meat factory floor scrapings then?
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Re: Teach Dalty American!

Post by Scotia »

Bananarama's Bouncy Bits wrote:Peter North I think.
Just a little tidbit here. This legend went to my old high school. He was famous for running track back then. Not so much now.
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Re: Teach Dalty American!

Post by Scotia »

And since I'm here and want to learn some American, what is a turnpike? Is it found only in New Jersey?
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Re: Teach Dalty American!

Post by Dalty »

It's a big fish that can't swim straight..... right?
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Re: Teach Dalty American!

Post by Jubbers »

Right now, baloney and hot dogs are the only meat Jubboiter will eat. She'll pick out everything else, no matter how small.
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Re: Teach Dalty American!

Post by Mal Shot First »

Scotia wrote:And since I'm here and want to learn some American, what is a turnpike? Is it found only in New Jersey?
I've actually just asked that question the other day (the one about the meaning of the word, not the part about Jersey), but was too lazy to look it up until now.

Apparently, a turnpike is the same thing as a toll road. According to Wikipedia, actual spiked barriers were used in ancient times on roads in order to prevent people from passing and to charge a toll. I would imagine that those spiked barriers were able to be rotated so that the travelers could pass once they paid.

Edit: Upon actually reading past the first couple of sentences in the Wikipedia entry, I noticed that my assumption was correct.
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Re: Teach Dalty American!

Post by Scotia »

For some reason I thought a turnpike was an on-ramp of sorts. Like a big ass expressway with spaghetti lanes and multiple levels. Cool.
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Re: Teach Dalty American!

Post by Dalty »

What are Twinkies, really, and why do I absolutely positively have to have one right now?
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Re: Teach Dalty American!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God »

They're spongy, goo-filled, concentrated delight. Have a couple Twinkies, Dalty. If a man can get off a murder charge by claiming his addiction to Twinkies was so strong that he was left mentally impaired, they must be good. (This wasn't Dan White's [attorneys'] actual claim, but it's pretty to think it was.)
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Re: Teach Dalty American!

Post by neglet »

I have not been able to eat a Twinkie since the day my husband came home from touring a chemical plant (he inspected for insurance companies back then) and saw the proud display of their products, including Twinkie filling and the stuff that makes diapers absorbent.
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Re: Teach Dalty American!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God »

That only makes me want Twinkies more.
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Re: Teach Dalty American!

Post by Jubbers »

They have whey, so I have to say "no whey."
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Re: Teach Dalty American!

Post by Dalty »

I can get them in the UK via the mail. I dunno..... should I order?
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Re: Teach Dalty American!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God »

Don't bother. The next time you come to St. Louis, I will meet you at the airport with Twinkies.
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Re: Teach Dalty American!

Post by Dalty »

If you are standing at an airport with your Twinkie in your hand, I am turning round and getting the next flight home!!

Isn't St Louis on fire at the moment?
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Re: Teach Dalty American!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God »

It won't be my Twinkie. It'll be your Twinkie. I'll just be holding it for you.

Jubbers will have to be the one who pays for it.
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Re: Teach Dalty American!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God »

St. Louis is fine. Ferguson's on fire, maybe. Ferguson's about twenty miles north of our place.
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Re: Teach Dalty American!

Post by Dalty »

20 miles is a long way to walk carrying Molotov cocktails. Hope that makes it OK.
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Re: Teach Dalty American!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God »

It doesn't. Oklahoma isn't to the north of St. Louis. It's to the south and west.
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Re: Teach Dalty American!

Post by Dalty »

I don't understand the geographical reference.
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