Current Annoyances

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We once roamed the vast forums of Corona Coming Attractions. Some of us had been around from The Before Times, in the Days of Excelsior, while others of us had only recently begun our trek. When our home became filled with much evil, including the villainous Cannot-Post-in-This-Browser and the dreaded Cannot-Log-In, we flounced away most huffily to this new home away from home. We follow the flag of Jubboiter and talk about movies, life, the universe, and everything, often in a most vulgar fashion. All are welcome here, so long as they do not take offense to our particular idiom.
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Dalty
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Re: Current Annoyances

Post by Dalty » November 6th, 2017, 3:07 am

Jesus!!!!! You need to get that checked, my friend. Prolapse or infected fissure are no laughing matters.

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Re: Current Annoyances

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » November 7th, 2017, 4:45 pm

My asshole stopped bleeding, post-dump.

Good thing I didn't take Ol' Moneybags's advice. If I had, I'd be no better off, and I'd be in debt hell.

Thanks for nothing, Mr. I-Don't-Live-in-the-US-and-Can-Afford-Healthcare!

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Re: Current Annoyances

Post by Dalty » November 9th, 2017, 3:22 am

Could still be a fissure.

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Re: Current Annoyances

Post by Mal Shot First » November 9th, 2017, 10:06 am

Have I told you guys about that time when a particularly tough bowel movement caused a pink hue in my semen?

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Re: Current Annoyances

Post by Mal Shot First » November 9th, 2017, 10:50 am

Hey, looks like I did, almost five years ago, back on CCA:
Mal Shot First wrote: Since we're sharing stories about bodily functions, here's one from me.

Back when I was getting ready for my Master's exam, I didn't go grocery shopping or make any of my own meals at home for the entire month before the exam. Instead, for whatever reason, I ate dinner at Jack in the Box almost every night (I think I may have gone to Taco Bell some of the times I didn't go to Jack in the Box). After about 20 days into this routine, this steady diet of greasy fast food combined with the stress of preparing for the exam while teaching and taking classes, resulting in severe constipation. I probably went about a week without experiencing a bowel movement.

Finally, I guess, enough waste had accumulated and simply needed to be evacuated, but a lack of fiber and vegetables in my diet for what was by that point almost a month made this the most strenuous dump I've ever had to take. This shit was so dense, its circumference so large, and its shape so irregular that it took every bit of my strength to actually pass it. I honestly thought I was going to pop a blood vessel in my head. At one point during this process, I actually lifted my butt from the toilet seat, squatting over the toilet while supporting myself with my hands on the sink and the wall because it felt like I was getting more leverage that way.

I'm not sure how long I was in the bathroom, but once the ordeal was over, I collapsed on the toilet for a few minutes, leaning back on the seat from exhaustion. It was actually kind of tough getting up because on the one hand my knees were fatigued from squatting over the toilet, and on the other hand I felt like I had just been anally violated. Not my proudest moment, as you can imagine.

That's not the end of the story, though. The next day, I noticed that my semen was conspicuously discolored. It had a pink hue to it and what looked like little spots of blood. My first thought was that these symptoms were related to the recent strenuous bowel movement - perhaps I had torn something in the process - but I hadn't noticed any such effects on my urine. Unsure whether this was anything serious, I was a little worried to keep checking the color of my semen. After all, what if the process of extracting it from my body to make the analysis was exacerbating the issue? Maybe I did end up having an aneurysm in my prostate instead of in my head. Whatever actually happened, it wasn't anything that lasted. Things were back to normal within a week. If anything, I learned a valuable lesson about the importance of proper nutrition.

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Re: Current Annoyances

Post by Mal Shot First » November 9th, 2017, 10:51 am

While searching for the thread above, I also found this beautiful thing started by Corporal Hicks:
http://www.coronacomingattractions.com/work-crap

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Re: Current Annoyances

Post by Dalty » November 10th, 2017, 5:40 am

Whatever happened to Hicks?

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Re: Current Annoyances

Post by Mal Shot First » November 10th, 2017, 9:19 am

At home, washin' tights.

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Re: Current Annoyances

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » November 10th, 2017, 12:13 pm

He's around.

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Re: Current Annoyances

Post by Space Tycoon » November 18th, 2017, 10:36 am


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Re: Current Annoyances

Post by Space Tycoon » November 19th, 2017, 11:22 am

Sorry...temptation got the better of me.

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Re: Current Annoyances

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » November 19th, 2017, 12:42 pm


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Re: Current Annoyances

Post by Space Tycoon » January 17th, 2018, 8:49 pm

I simply cannot type with a laptop keyboard anymore. Up until a few years ago I usually used the standard pc desktop setup. Life was good. I thought I would gain familiarity with the laptop in time, but... nope. Text gets sent all over the place or deleted completely, if I even brush up against the stupid rectangle thing at the bottom. I'm just typewriter-acclimated, I guess.

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Re: Current Annoyances

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » January 17th, 2018, 9:57 pm

You should be able to turn the track pad's tap feature off. That's the culprit. I know how it's done with Linux (my thumb highlighted things that my fingers then deleted often enough for me to seek out what to do), but I'd have to look into how it's done for other machines.

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Re: Current Annoyances

Post by Dalty » January 18th, 2018, 2:56 am

No matter what I try, “Hot Corners” on Win10 remains on which causes fucking carnage when running Windows XP for Enterprise via Citrix for working on my work network from my home office.

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Re: Current Annoyances

Post by neglet » January 18th, 2018, 11:13 pm

How long have you guys known me as neglet? 15 years? I’ve had the domain name neglet.com since late 2000. But when I went to sign up on Twitter, someone else had taken neglet as their call sign. Annoyingly, they made one single post back in 2009, and nothing since then.

I’ve heard Twitter isn’t very responsive to requests, but I thought why not try. I don’t have neglet trademarked, but I’ve had the domain a long time, and my website features Neglet Editorial Services, why not give it a shot?

Bastards took less than a day to turn me down. Now debating whether to message the person and request they delete their account so I can have the name, but afraid I’ll get hit up for money. Annoying.

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