Current Annoyances

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We once roamed the vast forums of Corona Coming Attractions. Some of us had been around from The Before Times, in the Days of Excelsior, while others of us had only recently begun our trek. When our home became filled with much evil, including the villainous Cannot-Post-in-This-Browser and the dreaded Cannot-Log-In, we flounced away most huffily to this new home away from home. We follow the flag of Jubboiter and talk about movies, life, the universe, and everything, often in a most vulgar fashion. All are welcome here, so long as they do not take offense to our particular idiom.
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Dalty
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Re: Current Annoyances

Post by Dalty »

Jesus!!!!! You need to get that checked, my friend. Prolapse or infected fissure are no laughing matters.
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Re: Current Annoyances

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God »

My asshole stopped bleeding, post-dump.

Good thing I didn't take Ol' Moneybags's advice. If I had, I'd be no better off, and I'd be in debt hell.

Thanks for nothing, Mr. I-Don't-Live-in-the-US-and-Can-Afford-Healthcare!
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Re: Current Annoyances

Post by Dalty »

Could still be a fissure.
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Re: Current Annoyances

Post by Mal Shot First »

Have I told you guys about that time when a particularly tough bowel movement caused a pink hue in my semen?
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Re: Current Annoyances

Post by Mal Shot First »

Hey, looks like I did, almost five years ago, back on CCA:
Mal Shot First wrote: Since we're sharing stories about bodily functions, here's one from me.

Back when I was getting ready for my Master's exam, I didn't go grocery shopping or make any of my own meals at home for the entire month before the exam. Instead, for whatever reason, I ate dinner at Jack in the Box almost every night (I think I may have gone to Taco Bell some of the times I didn't go to Jack in the Box). After about 20 days into this routine, this steady diet of greasy fast food combined with the stress of preparing for the exam while teaching and taking classes, resulting in severe constipation. I probably went about a week without experiencing a bowel movement.

Finally, I guess, enough waste had accumulated and simply needed to be evacuated, but a lack of fiber and vegetables in my diet for what was by that point almost a month made this the most strenuous dump I've ever had to take. This shit was so dense, its circumference so large, and its shape so irregular that it took every bit of my strength to actually pass it. I honestly thought I was going to pop a blood vessel in my head. At one point during this process, I actually lifted my butt from the toilet seat, squatting over the toilet while supporting myself with my hands on the sink and the wall because it felt like I was getting more leverage that way.

I'm not sure how long I was in the bathroom, but once the ordeal was over, I collapsed on the toilet for a few minutes, leaning back on the seat from exhaustion. It was actually kind of tough getting up because on the one hand my knees were fatigued from squatting over the toilet, and on the other hand I felt like I had just been anally violated. Not my proudest moment, as you can imagine.

That's not the end of the story, though. The next day, I noticed that my semen was conspicuously discolored. It had a pink hue to it and what looked like little spots of blood. My first thought was that these symptoms were related to the recent strenuous bowel movement - perhaps I had torn something in the process - but I hadn't noticed any such effects on my urine. Unsure whether this was anything serious, I was a little worried to keep checking the color of my semen. After all, what if the process of extracting it from my body to make the analysis was exacerbating the issue? Maybe I did end up having an aneurysm in my prostate instead of in my head. Whatever actually happened, it wasn't anything that lasted. Things were back to normal within a week. If anything, I learned a valuable lesson about the importance of proper nutrition.
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Re: Current Annoyances

Post by Mal Shot First »

While searching for the thread above, I also found this beautiful thing started by Corporal Hicks:
http://www.coronacomingattractions.com/work-crap
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Re: Current Annoyances

Post by Dalty »

Whatever happened to Hicks?
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Re: Current Annoyances

Post by Mal Shot First »

At home, washin' tights.
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Re: Current Annoyances

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God »

He's around.
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Re: Current Annoyances

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Re: Current Annoyances

Post by Space Tycoon »

Sorry...temptation got the better of me.
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Re: Current Annoyances

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Re: Current Annoyances

Post by Space Tycoon »

I simply cannot type with a laptop keyboard anymore. Up until a few years ago I usually used the standard pc desktop setup. Life was good. I thought I would gain familiarity with the laptop in time, but... nope. Text gets sent all over the place or deleted completely, if I even brush up against the stupid rectangle thing at the bottom. I'm just typewriter-acclimated, I guess.
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Re: Current Annoyances

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God »

You should be able to turn the track pad's tap feature off. That's the culprit. I know how it's done with Linux (my thumb highlighted things that my fingers then deleted often enough for me to seek out what to do), but I'd have to look into how it's done for other machines.
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Re: Current Annoyances

Post by Dalty »

No matter what I try, “Hot Corners” on Win10 remains on which causes fucking carnage when running Windows XP for Enterprise via Citrix for working on my work network from my home office.
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Re: Current Annoyances

Post by neglet »

How long have you guys known me as neglet? 15 years? I’ve had the domain name neglet.com since late 2000. But when I went to sign up on Twitter, someone else had taken neglet as their call sign. Annoyingly, they made one single post back in 2009, and nothing since then.

I’ve heard Twitter isn’t very responsive to requests, but I thought why not try. I don’t have neglet trademarked, but I’ve had the domain a long time, and my website features Neglet Editorial Services, why not give it a shot?

Bastards took less than a day to turn me down. Now debating whether to message the person and request they delete their account so I can have the name, but afraid I’ll get hit up for money. Annoying.
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Re: Current Annoyances

Post by Jubbers »

I entered the lottery for cheap tickets to The Book of Mormon (have never seen it)- and actually won. So Goiter and I took our decadent asses to see it today. They announce as you walk into the theater that you should turn your phone off. They announce it loudly one minute before the show starts: turn your phone off. It's printed in the playbill - turn your damn phone off.

Super old lady right in front of us turned her super-bright phone on multiple times throughout the show. Especially during the second half. Non-stop distracting illumination. Aargh.
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Re: Current Annoyances

Post by Mal Shot First »

Did you exclaim "Hasa Diga Eebowai"?

On the other hand, it's cool that you finally got to see the musical. Was it at the Fox Theatre?
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Re: Current Annoyances

Post by Jubbers »

It was.
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Re: Current Annoyances

Post by Mal Shot First »

My website, bosnianocity.com, does not have an SSL certificate. I didn't feel like paying to have a website secured that I don't use for any kind of professional purpose and that doesn't ask users to provide any personal information. Basically, the SSL seemed useless.

Well, the downside of that seems to be that I can't embed images from my site on other sites that do have an SSL certificate. For example, the image below doesn't show up when I try to embed it here:
Image
However, if I make it an external hyperlink that takes you to my site, you can click on it and open the image without any problems: Click me

What's the big deal? If the hyperlink works, why not the embedding?

Edit: Okay, after some sleuthing, I found out that I should stop using GoDaddy because they're assholes who don't tell you that you can get an SSL certificate for free and try to sell it to you instead. I came across ZeroSSL and was able to set it up after some trial and error. The embedding now works, as you can see above.

I'm still annoyed about those fuckers from GoDaddy. :roll:
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Re: Current Annoyances

Post by Jubbers »

Huffyflounce (and thus by extension my blog at encyclopaedia-fortuita.com) is hosted by Hostgator; it didn't cost me anything to get an SSL certificate for either domain.

GoDaddy sucks for many reasons.
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Re: Current Annoyances

Post by Mal Shot First »

New current annoyance: Well, that satisfaction of having functioning embedded pictures lasted a good few days. For whatever reason, my site is down now after I renewed my hosting subscription with GoDaddy. It was set to expire on March 6th and I renewed several days before that; nevertheless, everything is now down and I have to go investigate what the hell happened. Fuck those fucking fuckers.
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Re: Current Annoyances

Post by Jubbers »

DSN Propagation glitch? I can still see your site.
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Re: Current Annoyances

Post by Mal Shot First »

Eh, who the hell knows! I logged into my admin account to try to see if I could figure out something there, and when I called up the site again, it just worked. Don't know what that was all about.

What annoys me the most about the whole SSL thing is that it's a fucking joke. When you open the Bosnianocity image in a new tab, there's an exclamation mark in the URL box to tell you the connection is not secure. In other words, the only thing that changed is that I put the damn certificate on my site, but the image itself is not any more secure than before. Yet it can now be embedded. So goddamn dumb that they make you jump through all these hoops.
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Re: Current Annoyances

Post by Jubbers »

Yeah, I know that Google is doing a lot to essentially scare-shame people into getting SSL certificates on sites that may or may not really need them, because sometimes the warning triangle (like if I type bosnianocity.com in my browser) -
bosnianocity.png
bosnianocity.png (61.67 KiB) Viewed 15556 times
will instead be replaced with text saying "This site is insecure" - that's what I was seeing here and on my blog before I installed the certificate. It's not like I'm running a shop on here or collecting identifying information or anything.

Just as an FYI - To get that triangle/scare message to disappear, you also have to edit the .htaccess file in the root of your public html directory to force the site to redirect to the https version - that's really all the SSL certificate does, is make it so your website has two doors to it, an http one and an https one, but you still have to take this extra step to say which door should be the default entry way.

Code: Select all

<IfModule mod_rewrite.c>
RewriteEngine on
RewriteCond %{HTTPS} !=on
RewriteRule ^.*$ https://%{SERVER_NAME}%{REQUEST_URI} [R,L]
This bit forces any http-starting-url directed at your site to be reweritten to say https. Then instead of the triangle/scare-message, one gets the lock icon. If you already have a RewriteEngine on line in your htaccess file, just update/add the RewriteCond and RewriteRule lines. Things might get wonky if there are two RewriteEngine lines.
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