Dumb Lyrics

Why bother with any other forum?
Forum rules
We once roamed the vast forums of Corona Coming Attractions. Some of us had been around from The Before Times, in the Days of Excelsior, while others of us had only recently begun our trek. When our home became filled with much evil, including the villainous Cannot-Post-in-This-Browser and the dreaded Cannot-Log-In, we flounced away most huffily to this new home away from home. We follow the flag of Jubboiter and talk about movies, life, the universe, and everything, often in a most vulgar fashion. All are welcome here, so long as they do not take offense to our particular idiom.
User avatar
Quasar
Washer of the Tights - 250 Posts
Washer of the Tights - 250 Posts
Posts: 486
Joined: January 9th, 2014, 10:03 pm

Dumb Lyrics

Post by Quasar »

Carrie Underwood - All American Girl

Verse 1 is about a father who wanted a boy but got a girl, and then she ended up being his whole world

Verse 2 is about the girl now a teenager becoming the whole world of the high school quarterback.

Verse 3:
"And when they got married and decided to have one of their own
She said, "Be honest, tell me what you want?"
And he said, "Honey, you oughta know"

Oughta know what? That he wants a girl? I guess if she'd been following along with the song, she should know. Because it says "All American Girl" in the chorus.

Seriously, he loves his wife so he should want a girl? I guess jack-ass dad didn't love his wife, cuz he wanted a damn BOY!
User avatar
The Swollen Goiter of God
Postapocalypse Survivor - 7510 Posts
Postapocalypse Survivor - 7510 Posts
Posts: 8905
Joined: January 9th, 2014, 8:46 pm
Location: St. Louis

Re: Dumb Lyrics

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God »

What he wants is to put his ding-dong up her butt. Obviously.
User avatar
Quasar
Washer of the Tights - 250 Posts
Washer of the Tights - 250 Posts
Posts: 486
Joined: January 9th, 2014, 10:03 pm

Re: Dumb Lyrics

Post by Quasar »

That makes sense.
User avatar
The Swollen Goiter of God
Postapocalypse Survivor - 7510 Posts
Postapocalypse Survivor - 7510 Posts
Posts: 8905
Joined: January 9th, 2014, 8:46 pm
Location: St. Louis

Re: Dumb Lyrics

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God »

Here are some songs with lyrics so dumb it hurts:







They all share the belief that they're very deep. I ought to throw Rush's "Freewill" in there.
User avatar
Quasar
Washer of the Tights - 250 Posts
Washer of the Tights - 250 Posts
Posts: 486
Joined: January 9th, 2014, 10:03 pm

Re: Dumb Lyrics

Post by Quasar »

You chose not to put Rush's "Freewill" in there, but you still made a choice.
User avatar
The Swollen Goiter of God
Postapocalypse Survivor - 7510 Posts
Postapocalypse Survivor - 7510 Posts
Posts: 8905
Joined: January 9th, 2014, 8:46 pm
Location: St. Louis

Re: Dumb Lyrics

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God »

I'd give your comment a "like" or an "upvote," but it's not a feature we have. Maybe we can coax Jubbers into seeing if it's addable--unless it would make things look too cluttered. Jubbers doesn't like design clutter.
User avatar
Quasar
Washer of the Tights - 250 Posts
Washer of the Tights - 250 Posts
Posts: 486
Joined: January 9th, 2014, 10:03 pm

Re: Dumb Lyrics

Post by Quasar »

If we're judging songs that are too earnest, I'd put Chicago's "Look Away" in there. I just love how it gets uber dramatic with the music and vocals and belts out

"BUT IF YOU SEE ME WALKING BY, AND THE TEARS ARE IN MY EYES, look away, baby, look away
AND IF WE MEET ON THE STREETS SOMEDAY, AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY, look away, baby, look away"

I always imagine watching a video for the song with a couple walking along the street with the dramatic music crashing around, and some doofus looking into the camera with a single tear trickling down his face. I should look up the video, because it's probably exactly like that.
User avatar
The Swollen Goiter of God
Postapocalypse Survivor - 7510 Posts
Postapocalypse Survivor - 7510 Posts
Posts: 8905
Joined: January 9th, 2014, 8:46 pm
Location: St. Louis

Re: Dumb Lyrics

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God »

I don't mean to get us off-track.

I remember hearing this one insanely stupid lyric about Romeo and Juliet in a Taylor Swift song. I'll dig it up.
User avatar
The Swollen Goiter of God
Postapocalypse Survivor - 7510 Posts
Postapocalypse Survivor - 7510 Posts
Posts: 8905
Joined: January 9th, 2014, 8:46 pm
Location: St. Louis

Re: Dumb Lyrics

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God »

Found it:

'Cause you were Romeo;
I was a scarlet letter.
And my daddy said, "Stay away from Juliet."




Why was she a scarlet letter? Because maybe she had sex with the guy? That's a pretty simplistic reading of The Scarlet Letter. And it doesn't really mesh with Romeo an Juliet.

The lyric's a callback to an earlier lyric in the song where she says, "You were Romeo. You were throwing pebbles, and my daddy said, 'Stay away from Juliet!'"

So I guess the first time the father's telling the guy to stay away from his daughter because he's afraid he'll ruin her with his ding-dong, but then they guy and the daughter sneak off and he ruins her with his ding-dong. Later, even though the guy's already ruined her, her father's still telling him to stay away. I guess it kinda works. Still, it does The Scarlet Letter a disservice to boil it down into a simple tale of ruination. I mean, is the Swift song's protagonist also an adulteress? Does Swift know the meaning behind the actual letter worn in The Scarlet Letter?

It's almost like a teenager just threw the only two things she was made to read in high school at a wall to see if they would stick.

How old was Swift when she wrote the song? I'm going to guess she was seventeen or eighteen.
User avatar
Jubbers
Site Admin
Site Admin
Posts: 777
Joined: November 19th, 2012, 5:54 pm

Re: Dumb Lyrics

Post by Jubbers »

The Swollen Goiter of God wrote:I'd give your comment a "like" or an "upvote," but it's not a feature we have. Maybe we can coax Jubbers into seeing if it's addable--unless it would make things look too cluttered. Jubbers doesn't like design clutter.
Done.
User avatar
The Swollen Goiter of God
Postapocalypse Survivor - 7510 Posts
Postapocalypse Survivor - 7510 Posts
Posts: 8905
Joined: January 9th, 2014, 8:46 pm
Location: St. Louis

Re: Dumb Lyrics

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God »

The mother of all dumb lyrics:



The whole song's monumentally dumb, but the dumbest bit is this:

Fuckin' magnets!
How do they work?
And I don't want
to talk to a scientist.
Y'all motherfuckers lyin',
and gettin' me pissed!"


Since everyone already knows how stupid this song is, there's probably no reason to include it here. That said, no list of dumb lyrics should be without it.
User avatar
Mal Shot First
Wall of Text Climber - 2500 Posts
Wall of Text Climber - 2500 Posts
Posts: 2731
Joined: January 10th, 2014, 5:05 pm

Re: Dumb Lyrics

Post by Mal Shot First »

I'm gonna be lazy and say that most of Katy Perry's lyrics are pretty dumb.
User avatar
neglet
Shoots First - 1138 Posts
Shoots First - 1138 Posts
Posts: 1199
Joined: January 11th, 2014, 2:47 pm
Location: Chicago

Re: Dumb Lyrics

Post by neglet »

But her boo--I mean, her music is so bouncy!
User avatar
Mal Shot First
Wall of Text Climber - 2500 Posts
Wall of Text Climber - 2500 Posts
Posts: 2731
Joined: January 10th, 2014, 5:05 pm

Re: Dumb Lyrics

Post by Mal Shot First »

I guess I find her rhymes dumber than the actual content of her lyrics.
User avatar
Space Tycoon
ü83r l33t - 1338 Posts
ü83r l33t - 1338 Posts
Posts: 2429
Joined: January 13th, 2014, 12:16 am
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Soviet Canuckistan

Re: Dumb Lyrics

Post by Space Tycoon »

Image

Image

Image
User avatar
Mal Shot First
Wall of Text Climber - 2500 Posts
Wall of Text Climber - 2500 Posts
Posts: 2731
Joined: January 10th, 2014, 5:05 pm

Re: Dumb Lyrics

Post by Mal Shot First »

"Breakfast at Tiffany's" by Deep Blue Something is a pretty dumb song. The whole premise is that this guy's girlfriend wants to break up with him because they have nothing in common and he's clinging to their mutual appreciation of Breakfast at Tiffany's... except that she barely remembers the film and only "kinda liked it."
And I said, "What about Breakfast at Tiffany's?
She said, "I think I remember the film
And as I recall, I think, we both kinda liked it."
And I said, "Well, that's the one thing we've got."
The even dumber part:
So what now?
It's clear to see we're over
And I hate when things are over
When so much is left undone.
Basically, the guy just doesn't like to break up with women and he'd rather stay in a meaningless relationship than go through the break-up.
User avatar
The Swollen Goiter of God
Postapocalypse Survivor - 7510 Posts
Postapocalypse Survivor - 7510 Posts
Posts: 8905
Joined: January 9th, 2014, 8:46 pm
Location: St. Louis

Re: Dumb Lyrics

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God »

I bet he likes piña coladas and getting caught in the rain.
User avatar
Dalty
Vegeta-ble Slicer - 9001 Posts
Vegeta-ble Slicer - 9001 Posts
Posts: 9564
Joined: January 11th, 2014, 5:28 am

Re: Dumb Lyrics

Post by Dalty »

Katy Perry is a goddess. End of.

Over here,there is bit of a standing joke about fucking Taylor Swift then not calling her just so the miserable old cow will write a song about you,
User avatar
The Swollen Goiter of God
Postapocalypse Survivor - 7510 Posts
Postapocalypse Survivor - 7510 Posts
Posts: 8905
Joined: January 9th, 2014, 8:46 pm
Location: St. Louis

Re: Dumb Lyrics

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God »

I'm willing to bet that's an international joke.
User avatar
Quasar
Washer of the Tights - 250 Posts
Washer of the Tights - 250 Posts
Posts: 486
Joined: January 9th, 2014, 10:03 pm

Re: Dumb Lyrics

Post by Quasar »

Bon Jovi - Who Says You Can't Go Home

"Who says you can't go home?
Why says you can't go back?
I been all around the world and as a matter of fact
There's only one place left I wanna go
Why says you can't go home?"

Well, going home and wanting to go home are 2 different things. Lots of people WANT to go home. That's why there's a saying about it.
User avatar
The Swollen Goiter of God
Postapocalypse Survivor - 7510 Posts
Postapocalypse Survivor - 7510 Posts
Posts: 8905
Joined: January 9th, 2014, 8:46 pm
Location: St. Louis

Re: Dumb Lyrics

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God »

The sailors of the Sloop John B wanna go home.
User avatar
The Swollen Goiter of God
Postapocalypse Survivor - 7510 Posts
Postapocalypse Survivor - 7510 Posts
Posts: 8905
Joined: January 9th, 2014, 8:46 pm
Location: St. Louis

Re: Dumb Lyrics

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God »

Thomas Wolfe says you can't go home again. James Joyce says you can never leave it.
User avatar
Dalty
Vegeta-ble Slicer - 9001 Posts
Vegeta-ble Slicer - 9001 Posts
Posts: 9564
Joined: January 11th, 2014, 5:28 am

Re: Dumb Lyrics

Post by Dalty »

James Joyce was terrible with a map.
User avatar
The Swollen Goiter of God
Postapocalypse Survivor - 7510 Posts
Postapocalypse Survivor - 7510 Posts
Posts: 8905
Joined: January 9th, 2014, 8:46 pm
Location: St. Louis

Re: Dumb Lyrics

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God »

Ulysses would indicate otherwise.
User avatar
Mal Shot First
Wall of Text Climber - 2500 Posts
Wall of Text Climber - 2500 Posts
Posts: 2731
Joined: January 10th, 2014, 5:05 pm

Re: Dumb Lyrics

Post by Mal Shot First »

Bananarama's Bouncy Bits wrote:Over here,there is bit of a standing joke about fucking Taylor Swift then not calling her just so the miserable old cow will write a song about you,
Image
(click me)
Post Reply