Forum and In-Joke Guide

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We once roamed the vast forums of Corona Coming Attractions. Some of us had been around from The Before Times, in the Days of Excelsior, while others of us had only recently begun our trek. When our home became filled with much evil, including the villainous Cannot-Post-in-This-Browser and the dreaded Cannot-Log-In, we flounced away most huffily to this new home away from home. We follow the flag of Jubboiter and talk about movies, life, the universe, and everything, often in a most vulgar fashion. All are welcome here, so long as they do not take offense to our particular idiom.
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The Swollen Goiter of God
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Re: Forum and In-Joke Guide

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » August 30th, 2014, 12:37 am

Past Goiter was an all-around great guy. Just a swell, swell guy. He'd put down whatever he was doing if you asked him for help. You wouldn't even know about it, because he wasn't the kind of guy to let you know you'd inconvenienced him. You'd be all like, "Thanks for coming right over and helping me move my stuff from Atlanta to Schenectady, Past Goiter," and he'd be all like, "No problem. I wasn't doin' nothin', and I've been looking for a chance to drive up to Schenectady for half a day."

And then he'd say he needed to excuse himself to make a phone call, and a couple years later you'd find out from a friend of a friend that the phone call was to the fire department, because he'd been cooking waffles when you called, and he figured he'd burned down his apartment building. Then you find out from his mother a decade after that that he burned down the whole block. Kittens. Toddlers. Two gay Holocaust survivors who'd been waiting their whole lives to get married and were scheduled to do it the day after the fire claimed their flaming hearts and feet and eyeballs, and... Good God, no one ever told you that eyeballs can explode in extreme heat, but Goiter's mother told you, and, Jesus Hell, you just can't seem to shake the image. Kittens, toddlers, two gay holocaust survivors, and probably some goldfish. All dead, and all because he left those pancakes going. But he never burdened you with it, because he was a great guy.

Just a great, great guy. Considerate. Humble. And smart! So smart and kind and funny! And good with kids! And he cared about the environment, too! And he had all those stray rescues living with him! Both the set before the fire and the set after the fire, I mean. Just a lover of pets and life and a joy to be around and to behold. Never an unkind word to say about anybody or anything. And a serial optimist! And being around him made you one, too!

He never loaned a buck in his life, you know. He gave. He gave and gave. And when he didn't give, you knew he was imparting some kind of lesson. And you learned that lesson, boy! Just a good man. And thoughtful! Never forgot a birthday or anniversary. Never raised his voice in anger.

And now he's no more. Passed Goiter.

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Re: Forum and In-Joke Guide

Post by Dalty » August 30th, 2014, 10:52 am

You forgot what an energetic yet sensitive lover he was.

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Re: Forum and In-Joke Guide

Post by neglet » August 30th, 2014, 2:42 pm

Dalty wrote:You forgot what an energetic yet sensitive lover he was.
Yes, everyone should love themselves as passed Goiter did.

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Re: Forum and In-Joke Guide

Post by Mal Shot First » August 30th, 2014, 5:30 pm

Goits, that's the eulogy you should've given at your father's funeral.

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Re: Forum and In-Joke Guide

Post by Dalty » August 30th, 2014, 5:38 pm

I was asked to give a eulogy at my grandfathers funeral and I declined (not on the day, obviously, but in the planning) because, even though public speaking is part of my job, I honestly didn't think I would be able to hold it together.

Does that make me a bad person?

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Re: Forum and In-Joke Guide

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » August 30th, 2014, 5:54 pm

*That* doesn't make you a bad person.

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Re: Forum and In-Joke Guide

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » August 30th, 2014, 5:57 pm

I admit that I was pretty happy with myself when I came up with the idea of having Past Goiter burn down a whole block and kill multiple people out of kindness.

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Re: Forum and In-Joke Guide

Post by Dalty » August 31st, 2014, 12:12 pm

Cruelty would have done it too.

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Re: Forum and In-Joke Guide

Post by Adam54 » September 10th, 2014, 2:41 pm

Hey Mal?

As board historian, if ever you get the time, could you trace the origin of the "....should've done/posted/said that two weeks ago" gag?

I'd be curious to learn who started that one. I have a feeling it was Hicks.

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Re: Forum and In-Joke Guide

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » September 10th, 2014, 2:46 pm

I'm pretty sure it was a Quasar/Jack tag team affair.

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Re: Forum and In-Joke Guide

Post by Adam54 » September 10th, 2014, 2:49 pm

See, this is why we need it researched. I thought it was Hicks or Strider.

(I have a feeling we'll be hearing from Fake Strider soon enough)

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Re: Forum and In-Joke Guide

Post by Mal Shot First » September 10th, 2014, 2:51 pm

You know, I've tried to do it, but there were just so many instances of it that it was hard to trace. It gets increasingly difficult the farther CCA recedes into the past, since Google data seems to become less available once traffic to a site decreases. :(

My feeling is also that it was based on something Hicks wrote once and was then taken over (*ahem*force-fadded*ahem*) by Quasar and Jack.

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Re: Forum and In-Joke Guide

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » September 10th, 2014, 2:57 pm

I don't see it being used the way we use it in 2010.

I see you (Adam54) using it the way we use (maybe) it three years and thirty-seven days ago. That's here.

I see you using it again (maybe) the way we use it three years and fifteen days ago. That's here. Quasar then (maybe) mocks you for it and repeats it immediately afterward.

Looks like maybe Quasar force-fadded it in mockery of you.

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Re: Forum and In-Joke Guide

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » September 10th, 2014, 2:59 pm

Of course, Quasar's use of it didn't show up when I Ctrl-Ged, since he used "2" instead of "two." Maybe I need to go back and do a search for "2 weeks ago," too.

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Re: Forum and In-Joke Guide

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » September 10th, 2014, 3:03 pm

There's also this from three years and twenty-six weeks ago.

Damn it. I've been assuming the Corona search results were arranged in the correct chronological order. Stupid, broke-ass Corona search. Stupid Google for redirecting to it and not taking things in its own hands. Maybe if I Google "coronacomingattractions" and "two weeks ago," I'll get results arranged chronologically.

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Re: Forum and In-Joke Guide

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » September 10th, 2014, 3:04 pm

Also, Google's smart enough to know "two" and "2" are the same. At least, I think it is. C'mon, Google.

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Re: Forum and In-Joke Guide

Post by Mal Shot First » September 10th, 2014, 3:27 pm

There's also this (3 years, 36 weeks ago).

Seems like Adam was responsible for force-fadding it without even remembering it.

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Re: Forum and In-Joke Guide

Post by Adam54 » September 10th, 2014, 4:10 pm

Huh. I didn't know I was that integral in the fadding of it. My instinct remains that Hicks started it around the time he started "Obama will fix it" and perhaps Quasar and I tag-teamed the force-fadding of it to make fun of him?

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Re: Forum and In-Joke Guide

Post by Adam54 » November 6th, 2014, 1:01 pm

Hey! I just realized! With Daylight Savings Time back in effect, the forum time is correct again! Huzzah!

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Re: Forum and In-Joke Guide

Post by Dalty » November 6th, 2014, 3:36 pm

We have to wait until spring to time travel again. :(

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Re: Forum and In-Joke Guide

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » November 6th, 2014, 3:53 pm

Hush up, Dalty. You travel back to the past to post no matter what.

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Re: Forum and In-Joke Guide

Post by Dalty » November 6th, 2014, 4:27 pm

Normally I get a bit Ipsy about past posts. You know this.

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Re: Forum and In-Joke Guide

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » November 6th, 2014, 6:22 pm

I'm just talkin' 'bout how you're always hours and hours ahead of HF's clock.

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Re: Forum and In-Joke Guide

Post by Adam54 » November 6th, 2014, 7:15 pm

Did Dalty buy a way to control the movement of time?!?!

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Re: Forum and In-Joke Guide

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » November 6th, 2014, 8:02 pm

Would you be surprised if I were to tell you Dalty bought one of the times with some of his green? Which? Mean Time.

Despite how it may seem, this was a rather nice time for him.

What's that? No. You're right. Nice time is Central European Time.

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