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Re: I'm going to be a father, motherfuckers!

Posted: January 19th, 2017, 7:09 pm
by omicron
Congrats!

Re: I'm going to be a father, motherfuckers!

Posted: January 20th, 2017, 12:42 pm
by Space Tycoon
Dalty wrote:8hrs later and fear is setting in!
That's probably not as bad as the fear that sets in when you begin to wonder if you've missed out by not having kids...

Re: I'm going to be a father, motherfuckers!

Posted: January 20th, 2017, 3:02 pm
by Dalty
No mate - there was a point at 3am today, after 48hrs without a solid lump of quality sleep, holding him and walking him so mummy could get some sleep, that I would have given everything to just go back to the way things were. It passed pretty quickly, but just for a moment it was there!

Re: I'm going to be a father, motherfuckers!

Posted: January 20th, 2017, 6:34 pm
by Space Tycoon
When I wake up around 3 am these days, I reflect on a life of middle-aged singlehood and wish for something different.

Re: I'm going to be a father, motherfuckers!

Posted: January 20th, 2017, 6:48 pm
by Dalty
Find somebody nice to wake up next to, not something that wakes you up screaming! ;)

Re: I'm going to be a father, motherfuckers!

Posted: January 21st, 2017, 9:37 pm
by neglet
Dalty wrote:8hrs later and fear is setting in! Are they really going to trust ME with another life? How does it work? Is there an instruction manual? Did all that really come from one small baby?
Welcome to parenthood! Congrats and enjoy!

Re: I'm going to be a father, motherfuckers!

Posted: January 22nd, 2017, 4:12 pm
by Dalty
I am loving it, except the nightimes. Day time, he's good as gold! Feed, burp, change, sleep, repeat. Goes down for a nap for two hours at a time with no probs at all and is really easy going. Night time though......OMG!! Once 11pm comes then every 30 mins he is crying, nothing seems to work to make him go for a nap. He quietness down for maybe 15 mins, then just as I close my eyes he's off again!

Re: I'm going to be a father, motherfuckers!

Posted: January 22nd, 2017, 5:26 pm
by The Swollen Goiter of God
Dalty wrote:I am loving it, except the nightimes. Day time, he's good as gold! Feed, burp, change, sleep, repeat. Goes down for a nap for two hours at a time with no probs at all and is really easy going. Night time though......OMG!! Once 11pm comes then every 30 mins he is crying, nothing seems to work to make him go for a nap. He quietness down for maybe 15 mins, then just as I close my eyes he's off again!
Welcome to parenthood! Congrats and enjoy!

Re: I'm going to be a father, motherfuckers!

Posted: January 30th, 2017, 7:12 pm
by Mal Shot First
Congrats, Dalty! How's Chet Dimpleton Jr. III doing? Just as importantly, did you get any time off work to enjoy the first days of fatherhood?

Re: I'm going to be a father, motherfuckers!

Posted: January 31st, 2017, 6:11 am
by Dalty
Ched Chip Chet Hank Jr. III is doing fine. Growing, feeding. Still a little bastard at night though. Last night when I had him from 11am to 3:30am while mum was sleeping I told him "I used to turn left on an airplane, and now you've ruined it!" - in my defence I was very sleep deprived.

Two weeks paternity leave so back to work on Monday.

Re: I'm going to be a father, motherfuckers!

Posted: February 2nd, 2017, 5:19 pm
by Dalty
Why am I tip-toeing around the baby monitor? He's upstairs in the nursery, I am downstairs! Why am I still acting like he can hear me? #babybrain

Re: I'm going to be a father, motherfuckers!

Posted: March 7th, 2017, 2:03 pm
by Dalty
Just watched "In The Night Garden".

Fuck my life.

Re: I'm going to be a father, motherfuckers!

Posted: October 7th, 2017, 2:19 pm
by Mal Shot First
I'm kind of sad that I'll never be as awesome as the father who built this couple's costume for his baby:

Image

Re: I'm going to be a father, motherfuckers!

Posted: October 7th, 2017, 6:45 pm
by The Swollen Goiter of God
Seconds later, the family dog ran up to the kid, giving the father a chance to utter the famous quote.

Re: I'm going to be a father, motherfuckers!

Posted: November 5th, 2017, 5:44 am
by Dalty
First words now, after 9 months. And trying to walk.

His propensity to try and crawl towards danger is worrying.

Re: I'm going to be a father, motherfuckers!

Posted: November 5th, 2017, 8:01 am
by The Swollen Goiter of God
Are you going to take the bilingual approach?

Re: I'm going to be a father, motherfuckers!

Posted: November 5th, 2017, 11:23 am
by Dalty
Yeah, so according to experts his vocabulary will probably stall a bit soon as his brain wrestles with two languages.

Re: I'm going to be a father, motherfuckers!

Posted: November 5th, 2017, 12:32 pm
by The Swollen Goiter of God
That's the way of things. It'll be a useful thing in the long run, though.

Re: I'm going to be a father, motherfuckers!

Posted: November 6th, 2017, 3:08 am
by Dalty
Apparently if you can speak two, then picking up a third and fourth is relatively simple compared to people wrestling with learning a single, other language.

It does mean his mother and him will be able to talk about me right in front of me!

Re: I'm going to be a father, motherfuckers!

Posted: November 6th, 2017, 8:16 am
by The Swollen Goiter of God
Or... OR... you might consider learning a little more of your wife's language.

Re: I'm going to be a father, motherfuckers!

Posted: November 7th, 2017, 5:44 am
by Dalty
I am learning slowly but Vietnamese is a bitch of a language. It's tonal and structured completely differently to English, also with different words for the same thing depending on who you are speaking to (almost social caste related).

Re: I'm going to be a father, motherfuckers!

Posted: November 7th, 2017, 7:21 am
by The Swollen Goiter of God
On the other hand, you're living with a baby that is actively in the process of picking it up. (Yeah, I know. That's different, and babies' brains are different. In all honesty, I wish you luck. Learn what your rigid, adult mind will allow you to learn.)

Re: I'm going to be a father, motherfuckers!

Posted: November 7th, 2017, 9:17 am
by Dalty
My rigid adult brain has allowed me to learn God is great, guns are America, gays are bad and Mexicans are after my job.

It's still undecided on black folk.

Re: I'm going to be a father, motherfuckers!

Posted: November 8th, 2017, 9:16 am
by Mal Shot First
Dalty wrote: November 7th, 2017, 9:17 am It's still undecided on black folk.
Not that undecided.

Re: I'm going to be a father, motherfuckers!

Posted: November 8th, 2017, 9:18 am
by The Swollen Goiter of God
Dalty's rigid, adult brain is a St. Louis cop.