Alabama, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Why bother with any other forum?
Forum rules
We once roamed the vast forums of Corona Coming Attractions. Some of us had been around from The Before Times, in the Days of Excelsior, while others of us had only recently begun our trek. When our home became filled with much evil, including the villainous Cannot-Post-in-This-Browser and the dreaded Cannot-Log-In, we flounced away most huffily to this new home away from home. We follow the flag of Jubboiter and talk about movies, life, the universe, and everything, often in a most vulgar fashion. All are welcome here, so long as they do not take offense to our particular idiom.
Post Reply
User avatar
The Swollen Goiter of God
Postapocalypse Survivor - 7510 Posts
Postapocalypse Survivor - 7510 Posts
Posts: 8905
Joined: January 9th, 2014, 8:46 pm
Location: St. Louis

Re: Alabama, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God »

Well, I guess now I'm supposed to go funeral clothes shopping with my grandmother, because I need a white shirt and black pants. Couldn't possibly go with any other color for either. The woman's niece says khaki pants would be fine, but I guess my grandmother thinks otherwise.

I suppose I'll probably be expected to shave, too. And I'll probably need dress shoes.

Hooray! Let's spend our Friday night shopping for clothes for a funeral!

Again, I don't really have much cause to whine. I'm alive. I'm also not starving, and I can still walk and wipe my own ass and stuff.
User avatar
Mal Shot First
Wall of Text Climber - 2500 Posts
Wall of Text Climber - 2500 Posts
Posts: 2731
Joined: January 10th, 2014, 5:05 pm

Re: Alabama, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by Mal Shot First »

I'm sure this will only serve to annoy you even further, but it's appropriate.

User avatar
The Swollen Goiter of God
Postapocalypse Survivor - 7510 Posts
Postapocalypse Survivor - 7510 Posts
Posts: 8905
Joined: January 9th, 2014, 8:46 pm
Location: St. Louis

Re: Alabama, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God »

User avatar
Dalty
Vegeta-ble Slicer - 9001 Posts
Vegeta-ble Slicer - 9001 Posts
Posts: 9564
Joined: January 11th, 2014, 5:28 am

Re: Alabama, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by Dalty »

The healing power of eggs.
User avatar
The Swollen Goiter of God
Postapocalypse Survivor - 7510 Posts
Postapocalypse Survivor - 7510 Posts
Posts: 8905
Joined: January 9th, 2014, 8:46 pm
Location: St. Louis

Re: Alabama, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God »

Here are some of the Facebook posts in response to this al.com (the shared website of the three biggest newspapers in Alabama!) article:

https://www.facebook.com/aldotcom/posts ... 2838337483
User avatar
The Swollen Goiter of God
Postapocalypse Survivor - 7510 Posts
Postapocalypse Survivor - 7510 Posts
Posts: 8905
Joined: January 9th, 2014, 8:46 pm
Location: St. Louis

Re: Alabama, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God »

"[N]ow I am forced to have the discussion with my children about why the government thinks that it is okay, but we as Christians don't. So even though I am not having a gay marriage, it affects me greatly, because it affects my children. I don't understand why people don't understand that it affects my family, just like having to talk to them way too early about sex and drugs."
User avatar
The Swollen Goiter of God
Postapocalypse Survivor - 7510 Posts
Postapocalypse Survivor - 7510 Posts
Posts: 8905
Joined: January 9th, 2014, 8:46 pm
Location: St. Louis

Re: Alabama, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God »

"I had to explain to my small children that all those little white crosses planted in the ground in front of our church represented aborted babies. I somehow muddled through, and I imagine that, with a little prayer, you'll be able to do the same."
User avatar
The Swollen Goiter of God
Postapocalypse Survivor - 7510 Posts
Postapocalypse Survivor - 7510 Posts
Posts: 8905
Joined: January 9th, 2014, 8:46 pm
Location: St. Louis

Re: Alabama, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God »

A number of people respond with a single word: "Sick." At least one person adds exclamation points for emphasis.
User avatar
The Swollen Goiter of God
Postapocalypse Survivor - 7510 Posts
Postapocalypse Survivor - 7510 Posts
Posts: 8905
Joined: January 9th, 2014, 8:46 pm
Location: St. Louis

Re: Alabama, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God »

Some more highlights:

"This has WRONG written all over it!!"

"Perverted!"

"Nauseating."

"What trash"

"If 2 women or 2 men get married who has to change their last name? Spouse 1 or spouse 2"

"The courts may allow this, even the supreme court, but you will never change Gods Mind! He hates it, living together is not the SIN, it's the perverted ACT... "

"We should all love one another i do not agree with how you live as same sex couples but im not here to judge GOD does that its a sin to play GOD and i want no part of that .. have a great day i love you all and praying for you all"

"We can comment on what the bible says. Then again I doubt gays read the bible anyway"

"So I thought that Alabama was in the bible belt well let something like this go but no casino no lottery the inner school system is bad"

"If any of the nutty gays have children living in that mess, Dhr should go out and pick up their children and put them in homes fit to raise kids!"

"I have a question. 2 women want to get married. Both women have been married before to men. Both women have been divorced for 15 years but after the divorce both women kept their married name. Now if the 2 women get married to each other what do they have to do to get rid of the ex husbands last name before they marry each other."

"Hey mom, not you, mom #1, I meant mom #2. Sounds about right"

"I just threw up!"

"Daddy why do the other kids have mommies. Why do I get beat up in school every day? Mommy why do all the other kids have daddies? Why do i get beat up in school every day? Oh. Gross mom. Gross dad."

"Apparently these people don't believe the Bible!"

"Can't call it Marriage , it should be called a Civil Union"
User avatar
The Swollen Goiter of God
Postapocalypse Survivor - 7510 Posts
Postapocalypse Survivor - 7510 Posts
Posts: 8905
Joined: January 9th, 2014, 8:46 pm
Location: St. Louis

Re: Alabama, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God »

"Homosexuals are clearly Mentally ill ... It was defined as a Mental illness up to 1973 when the Hippy generation for the definition change due to polital correctness"

"You cannot redefine what God has alreadydecited.!!!!!"

"And all the Queers did a happy dance. Well let me go vomit over this. Congrats to all the Queers."

"Good luck to the kids raised in these households... Sad part is they don't have a choice! Pitiful"

"no one is forcing you to marry, but you sure are forcing your perverseness in front of everyone's face. Everything has to change because of a few perverts. Wow.............................. "

"Psychotic to say the LEAST!!"

"Does it say anything about 3rd and 4th spouse? If the convention is sgtricken that says marriage is the union between one man and one woman, why should anyone be limited to only one or the other?"

"Marriage? This is not marriage, God intended marriage to be between a man and a woman this is an abomination and no i am not judging, its in the bible.... "

"it says in the last days men will be lovers of their own meaning men will be lovers of other men. You better get to reading, God is going to come back soon and if you ain't saved you will spend an eternity in the Devils hell."

"God isn't against love . . . He is against people marrying the same sex!!!! It's sexually immoral! It says so in the bible! He created male and female in His own image! The parts fit together for a reason! You can't make a baby with two female parts! Homosexuality is a SIN!!! Period!!!!"
User avatar
Dalty
Vegeta-ble Slicer - 9001 Posts
Vegeta-ble Slicer - 9001 Posts
Posts: 9564
Joined: January 11th, 2014, 5:28 am

Re: Alabama, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by Dalty »

I watched a video on the internet recently where two women seemed to be very fond of each other. I don't think it upset God. I certainly liked it.
User avatar
The Swollen Goiter of God
Postapocalypse Survivor - 7510 Posts
Postapocalypse Survivor - 7510 Posts
Posts: 8905
Joined: January 9th, 2014, 8:46 pm
Location: St. Louis

Re: Alabama, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God »

Were these women sharing a cup?
User avatar
Dalty
Vegeta-ble Slicer - 9001 Posts
Vegeta-ble Slicer - 9001 Posts
Posts: 9564
Joined: January 11th, 2014, 5:28 am

Re: Alabama, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by Dalty »

No, a jacuzzi.
User avatar
The Swollen Goiter of God
Postapocalypse Survivor - 7510 Posts
Postapocalypse Survivor - 7510 Posts
Posts: 8905
Joined: January 9th, 2014, 8:46 pm
Location: St. Louis

Re: Alabama, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God »

User avatar
Dalty
Vegeta-ble Slicer - 9001 Posts
Vegeta-ble Slicer - 9001 Posts
Posts: 9564
Joined: January 11th, 2014, 5:28 am

Re: Alabama, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by Dalty »

Is he legally correct?
User avatar
The Swollen Goiter of God
Postapocalypse Survivor - 7510 Posts
Postapocalypse Survivor - 7510 Posts
Posts: 8905
Joined: January 9th, 2014, 8:46 pm
Location: St. Louis

Re: Alabama, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God »

It depends on whether or not you believe a state and its counties can legally defy a federal court order. There may be some wiggle room there. I'm unsure.

I haven't been following super closely, but I believe Moore says he will only honor the order if it comes specifically from the U.S. Supreme Court.

Alabama has a long and rich history where appealing to the States' Rights defense is concerned. This goes back to just before the U.S. Civil War and continues today. I'm not a political enough beast to know which specific rights states have, but I do know that it's often tied to some issue of race--at least where Alabama is concerned. Back in the sixties, most of the people who were building arguments around states' rights were segregationists.
User avatar
Dalty
Vegeta-ble Slicer - 9001 Posts
Vegeta-ble Slicer - 9001 Posts
Posts: 9564
Joined: January 11th, 2014, 5:28 am

Re: Alabama, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by Dalty »

Is there any mechanism for Alabexit?
User avatar
The Swollen Goiter of God
Postapocalypse Survivor - 7510 Posts
Postapocalypse Survivor - 7510 Posts
Posts: 8905
Joined: January 9th, 2014, 8:46 pm
Location: St. Louis

Re: Alabama, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God »

Are you asking if there's any way for people in Alabama to get out of Alabama, are you asking if there's any way for Alabama to secede, are you asking if there's any way for the U.S. to rid itself of Alabama, or are you asking something else?
User avatar
The Swollen Goiter of God
Postapocalypse Survivor - 7510 Posts
Postapocalypse Survivor - 7510 Posts
Posts: 8905
Joined: January 9th, 2014, 8:46 pm
Location: St. Louis

Re: Alabama, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God »

It looks like Justices Scalia, Alito, and Thomas all appealed to states' rights when voicing their dissent.

Again, I'm not sure of the legality of any of this. I also don't mean to suggest that every appeal to states' rights is unavoidably and irretrievably tied in to a history of oppression.

In terms of the legality of what Moore and the majority of Alabamians want, it appears to boil down to whether or not one believes marriage between consenting adults--regardless of the sexuality of those consenting adults--is a basic human right that states shouldn't be allowed to block or refuse to recognize. If you don't believe it is a basic human right, the legality of what Moore is doing is less questionable.

It seems a lot of Alabamians have given up the fight to make it impossible for gay couples to have some sort of common law union/partner protection. A decade ago, the vast majority of Alabamians were against even this. They've chosen, instead, to stick to insisting that marriage, as a term, should be reserved for legal unions between a man and a woman. They insist that legal unions between a man and a man or a woman and a woman should be called something else. The problem homosexual partners seeking a legal union have with this is an obvious one: if you legally separate one kind of union from the other, it means there continues to be legal grounds for the individual limitation/expansion/redrafting of the protections and benefits of each type of union.

A body can claim that the two types of unions remain legally "separate but equal," but the very fact of their separation means there's a lot less red tape involved in changing the terms of one while keeping the terms of the other the same. We saw plenty of proof of this with pre-sixties race segregation. Integration didn't solve all the problems, it's true, but it was a step in the right direction. At least it's now illegal to keep a black person from drinking clean water in your town.

That's all gay people want. They want to be sure they're allowed to drink clean water when they go to your town. They just want some water. They're thirsty. Let 'em drink the water, Alabama.

Apologies for the logical fallacies and sloppy analogizing.
User avatar
Dalty
Vegeta-ble Slicer - 9001 Posts
Vegeta-ble Slicer - 9001 Posts
Posts: 9564
Joined: January 11th, 2014, 5:28 am

Re: Alabama, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by Dalty »

No apology necessary. The analogy is spot on. We kinda had this discussion before. As I said then. I have no problems or issues with gay marriage personally but I really do feel a level of sympathy for those who genuinely believe in the institution of marriage as it stands and can't help feeling there is a (pink?) tank parked on their lawn.

Same with guest house owners who genuinely cannot condone same sex co-habitation so according to their beliefs refuse to put a gay couple in a room. Or a cake shop owner who feels the same so on those grounds refuses to make a wedding cake with two brides on the top.

Of course, the logical conclusion of this if you go back and drill down and down is....... should somebody who is racist be allowed to refuse to rent a room to a black person?

Should we be able to excuse an extremist who tries to kill us because it's just what he believes?

But it's not logical. It's the eternal paradox of progressiveness and liberalism pushing freedom but at the same time unavoidably restricting it.

Fuck it, I'd still take this personal ethical confusion over, say, life in Saudi Arabia!!
User avatar
The Swollen Goiter of God
Postapocalypse Survivor - 7510 Posts
Postapocalypse Survivor - 7510 Posts
Posts: 8905
Joined: January 9th, 2014, 8:46 pm
Location: St. Louis

Re: Alabama, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God »

It's always going to be a tough row to hoe. We're made to ask ourselves, yet again, how far one set of people's rights should extend and whether or not it's OK that these rights might limit the rights of others. What's morally right for a group is tied to that group's belief system. If we vow to protect more than one group's belief system, it's bound to complicate things.
User avatar
Dalty
Vegeta-ble Slicer - 9001 Posts
Vegeta-ble Slicer - 9001 Posts
Posts: 9564
Joined: January 11th, 2014, 5:28 am

Re: Alabama, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by Dalty »

So you have to take a realists view. If the word "marriage" is vitally important to a group, yet another group can get every single legal benefit of marriage without the appropriation of the word, is that a bad thing?

Certainly bigger fish to fry in this space, so seems the wrong battle to choose to fight?

And then there is freedom of speech and freedom of religion which just muddies the waters again!
User avatar
The Swollen Goiter of God
Postapocalypse Survivor - 7510 Posts
Postapocalypse Survivor - 7510 Posts
Posts: 8905
Joined: January 9th, 2014, 8:46 pm
Location: St. Louis

Re: Alabama, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God »

Again, it's hard for another group to trust that it will be able to get and retain every single legal benefit as long as major legal bodies are continuing to use different terms to define what are legally declared to be two different types of unions. For many gay people, "civil union" is going to continue to feel like a Jim Crow law. (Whether or not this comparison is apt is probably a subjective matter. For straight Christians, it may seem like a stretch. For others, it may not.) It'll remain a legal binding, separate from marriage, that is subject to change at a state's whim.
User avatar
Dalty
Vegeta-ble Slicer - 9001 Posts
Vegeta-ble Slicer - 9001 Posts
Posts: 9564
Joined: January 11th, 2014, 5:28 am

Re: Alabama, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by Dalty »

And that's where I get confused even further!
User avatar
The Swollen Goiter of God
Postapocalypse Survivor - 7510 Posts
Postapocalypse Survivor - 7510 Posts
Posts: 8905
Joined: January 9th, 2014, 8:46 pm
Location: St. Louis

Re: Alabama, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God »

Have a look at the comments on this Facebook link to a story about two people being denied a marriage license in my home county.

There's a lot of anger, as usual, on both sides. It's not a near 50/50 split like it is with most topics across most of the US. It never is with Alabama.
Post Reply