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Re: Alabama, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Posted: May 24th, 2016, 1:15 pm
by The Swollen Goiter of God
Dalty wrote:"Sorry to hear about your baby. Hey, where's Lucky?"
He's been renamed Quasimodo:



The video doesn't mention that his penis is necrotic and that it will have to be amputated.

Re: Alabama, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Posted: May 24th, 2016, 2:13 pm
by Dalty
Quite clearly a werewolf puppy.

Re: Alabama, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Posted: August 21st, 2016, 3:05 pm
by omicron

Re: Alabama, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Posted: August 21st, 2016, 3:43 pm
by Space Tycoon
Well, he's just a very committed libertarian. Walk the walk!

Re: Alabama, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Posted: August 21st, 2016, 8:46 pm
by The Swollen Goiter of God
Here's a Facebook exchange I just encountered:

Fuсking Аlаbаmа Idiоt 1
Whаt dо уоu еаt аftеr аlmоst dуing....I саn't gеt еnоugh sаlt in mе

Fuсking Аlаbаmа Idiоt 2
Trу sеа sаlt, nоt tаblе sаlt...mоrе nutriеnts

Fuсking Аlаbаmа Idiоt 1
Thаt's whаt wе usе ✌

Fuсking Аlаbаmа Idiоt 3
Swееt Tеа! I knоw thеу sау уоu shоuld аvоid sugаr аftеr а virus but thаt is thе ОNLУ thing thаt will mаkе mе fееl mуsеlf. Еvеn аftеr I stаrtеd drinking оnlу wаtеr, I still hаvе tо hаvе swееt tеа аftеr а stоmасh virus.

Fuсking Аlаbаmа Idiоt 4
Gаtоrаdе is gооd fоr уоu

* * *

You may have already figured this out from the context, but Fucking Alabama Idiot 1 just got over being sick. This is what she means by "almost dying." She said it was "a virus," but "a virus" doesn't necessarily mean a virus for most Alabamians. It means simply that she was sick. She could have been sick for any number of reasons. For all I know, she made herself sick by eating too much salt.

Re: Alabama, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Posted: August 21st, 2016, 9:02 pm
by Mal Shot First
The Swollen Goiter of God wrote:Fuсking Аlаbаmа Idiоt 4
Gаtоrаdе is gооd fоr уоu

Re: Alabama, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Posted: August 22nd, 2016, 8:13 am
by Dalty
In all fairness, Coke is kinda good for stomach bug nasties. After open water swims or the lake part of a triathlon a can of Coke was always recommended to kill any recently inbibed unpleasantness.

Re: Alabama, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Posted: August 25th, 2016, 6:50 pm
by omicron
So glad I don't live or travel through Alabama
http://www.rawstory.com/2016/08/i-lost- ... 7131x84899

Re: Alabama, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Posted: August 25th, 2016, 9:08 pm
by The Swollen Goiter of God
These two things happened in my hometown today:

Crossville Daycare Owner Arrested after Drug Agents Find Meth inside Daycare

Child in Critical Condition after Dog Attack in Crossville

I guess today was a bad day to be a toddler in Crossville, Alabama.

This happened near Mobile earlier in the week:

Infant Survives Grisly Murder of Five in Alabama Home

Apparently, the murderer used an ax.

Re: Alabama, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Posted: August 26th, 2016, 9:27 am
by Dalty
What has your hometown got against kids?

Re: Alabama, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Posted: August 26th, 2016, 10:33 am
by Mal Shot First
Meth and dogs, obviously.

Re: Alabama, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Posted: August 26th, 2016, 10:34 am
by Mal Shot First
That joke may work better in German.

Re: Alabama, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Posted: August 26th, 2016, 10:40 am
by The Swollen Goiter of God
I was surprised to learn from Kracht's 1979 that crystal meth was a thing in Europe and Iran in the late seventies.

Re: Alabama, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Posted: August 26th, 2016, 10:43 am
by The Swollen Goiter of God
It didn't really become a thing in Crossville, Alabama until the late nineties. It wasn't a thing I knew anything about until then.

Re: Alabama, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Posted: August 31st, 2016, 4:06 pm
by The Swollen Goiter of God

Re: Alabama, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Posted: September 12th, 2016, 2:38 pm
by The Swollen Goiter of God

Re: Alabama, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Posted: September 13th, 2016, 5:17 am
by Mal Shot First
I bet this was posted on Facebook by one of your Alabama acquaintances as a boast about Alabama schools.

Re: Alabama, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Posted: September 13th, 2016, 8:09 pm
by The Swollen Goiter of God
I honestly can't remember, but it says something that I can't immediately laugh off your bet as a joke.

* * *

Pregnant Heroin Addict OrderedJailed until Baby's Birth, Police Say

Re: Alabama, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Posted: September 14th, 2016, 3:52 pm
by Dalty
Poor little bastard.

Re: Alabama, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Posted: September 15th, 2016, 4:43 pm
by The Swollen Goiter of God

Re: Alabama, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Posted: September 16th, 2016, 5:51 am
by Dalty
Spreading the word of the Lord, was he?

Re: Alabama, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Posted: September 16th, 2016, 5:14 pm
by The Swollen Goiter of God

Re: Alabama, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Posted: October 28th, 2016, 2:41 pm
by The Swollen Goiter of God

Re: Alabama, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Posted: October 28th, 2016, 4:41 pm
by Dalty
Because the best way to influence the vote is not to vote?

Re: Alabama, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Posted: November 14th, 2016, 11:58 pm
by The Swollen Goiter of God