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We once roamed the vast forums of Corona Coming Attractions. Some of us had been around from The Before Times, in the Days of Excelsior, while others of us had only recently begun our trek. When our home became filled with much evil, including the villainous Cannot-Post-in-This-Browser and the dreaded Cannot-Log-In, we flounced away most huffily to this new home away from home. We follow the flag of Jubboiter and talk about movies, life, the universe, and everything, often in a most vulgar fashion. All are welcome here, so long as they do not take offense to our particular idiom.
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Adam54
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Re: Random

Post by Adam54 » September 16th, 2016, 8:08 am

Of all the things I've attempted to force fad over the years, Dr. Magic wasn't even one of them.

Figures she'd be one of the few that stuck. Somebody update the in-joke guide for Dalty, won't you?

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Dalty
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Re: Random

Post by Dalty » September 16th, 2016, 10:51 am

I still haven't seen this mystical Doctor. Is a TARDIS involved?

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Re: Random

Post by Adam54 » September 16th, 2016, 10:59 am

I posted a picture of her, circa 2009, earlier today but deleted it because I felt creepy. You snooze you lose.

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Re: Random

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » September 16th, 2016, 11:03 am

Do you feel you Wade into creepy waters often?

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Re: Random

Post by Dalty » September 16th, 2016, 12:18 pm

He's clean as fuck. No flies on him.

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Re: Random

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » September 16th, 2016, 1:28 pm

John Lennon wrote:There were no flies on Frank that morning - after all why not? He was a responsible citizen with a wife and child, wasn't he? It was a typical Frank morning and with an agility that defies description he leapt into the bathroom onto the scales. To his great harold he discovered he was twelve inches more tall heavy! He couldn't believe it and his blood raised to his head, causing a mighty red colouring.

'I carn't not believe this incredible fact of truth about my very body which has not gained fat since mother begat me at childburn. Yea, though I wart through the valet of thy shadowy hut I will feed no norman. What grate qualmsy hath taken me thus into such a fatty hardbuckle.' Again Frank looked down at the awful vision which clouded his eyes with fearful weight. 'Twelve inches more heavy, Lo!, but am I not more fatty than my brother Geoffery whise father Alec came from Kenneth -- through Leslies, who begat Arthur, son of Eric, by the house of Ronald and April -- keepers of James of Newcastle who ran Madeline at 2-1 by Silver Flower, (10-2) past Wot-ro-Wot at 4/3d a pound?'

He journeyed downstairs crestfallen and defective -- a great wait on his boulders -- not even his wife's battered face could raise a smile on poor Frank's head -- who as you know had no flies on him. His wife, a former beauty queer, regarded him with a strange but burly look. 'What ails thee, Frank? she asked stretching her prune. 'You look dejected if not informal,' she addled.

"Tis nothing but wart I have gained but twelve inches more tall heavy than at the very clock of yesterday at this time -- am I not the most miserable of men? Suffer ye not to spake to me or I might thrust you a mortal injury; I must traddle this trial alone.' 'Lo! Frank -- thous hast smote me harshly with such grave talk -- am I to blame for this vast burton?'

Frank looked sadly at his wife -- forgetting for a moment the cause of his misery. Walking slowly but slowly toward her, he took his head in his hands and with a few swift blows gad clubbed her mercifully to the ground dead. 'She shouldn't see me like this,' he mubbled, 'not all fat and on her thirtysecond birthday.'

Frank had to het his own breakfast that morning and also on the following mornings.

Two, (or was it three?) weeks later Frank awake again to find that there were still no flies on him.

'No flies on this Frank boy,' he thought; but to his amazement there seemed to be a lot of flies on his wife -- who was still lying about the kitchen floor. 'I carn't not partake of bread and that with her lying about the place,' he thought allowed, writing as he spoke. 'I must deliver her to her home whore she will be made welcome.'

He gathered her in a small sack (for she was only four foot three) and headed for her rightful home. Frank knocked on the door of his wife's mothers house. She opened the door.

'I've brought Marian home, Mrs. Sutherskill' (he could never call her Mum). He opened the sack and placed Marian on the doorstep.

'I'm not having all those flies in my home,' shouted Mrs. Sutherskill (who was very houseproud), shutting the door. 'She could have at least offered me a cup of tea,' thought Frank lifting the problem back on his boulders.

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Dalty
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Re: Random

Post by Dalty » September 16th, 2016, 4:04 pm

Oh, Christ.

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Re: Random

Post by Dalty » September 21st, 2016, 5:45 am

You can't put metal in a microwave............. but the entire inside of a microwave is made of metal????

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Re: Random

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » September 21st, 2016, 7:26 am

You can put metal in a microwave oven. It all depends on the way the metal is introduced to the microwave oven. The metal has to be arranged, shaped, or covered in such a way as to allow proper passage of the microwaves. Some microwavable food containers incorporate metal.

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Dalty
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Re: Random

Post by Dalty » September 21st, 2016, 7:58 am

Well. I'll be.

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Re: Random

Post by neglet » September 21st, 2016, 10:05 pm

I'm listening to an ad for the antidepressant Latuda, and I can only think of that old J. Grills live track where they can't remember the name of Rapinzel: "Latudie, Latudie the beauty..."

I've probably just revealed how much older I am than the rest of you.

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Dalty
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Re: Random

Post by Dalty » September 26th, 2016, 9:13 am

Peter Lorre, creator of The Big Bang Theory, is worth two Bruce Springsteen's (or three Bono's).

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Re: Random

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » September 26th, 2016, 9:15 am

You mean Chuck Lorre? I have a feeling I might actually enjoy The Big Bang Theory if it had come from the twisted mind of Peter Lorre.

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Dalty
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Re: Random

Post by Dalty » September 26th, 2016, 10:46 am

Yes, that's the guy!

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Re: Random

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » September 27th, 2016, 7:40 am

This cartoon is the kind of cartoon some of my Alabama relations share:

https://www.facebook.com/190363050741/p ... =3&theater

That's not the kind of thing everyone in my family would share, of course. I have a couple gay cousins who would never share a thing like that. Of course, they're on the paternal side, and they grew up in the thriving metropolises that are Huntsville, Alabama and Birmingham, Alabama. Any good country boy would tell you that all cityfolk are morally bankrupt.

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Mal Shot First
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Re: Random

Post by Mal Shot First » September 30th, 2016, 9:53 pm

I grew up watching this sketch comedy show from former Yugoslavia called Top lista nadrealista ("The Surrealists' Top Charts"), in which they would often poke fun at emerging social trends and turn pop-culture inside out (or upside down).

There was one sketch in which they parodied a quiz show called Brojke i slova ("Numbers and Letters"). In the letters round, each contestant would request vowels and consonants to be drawn at random and the one who could construct the longer word based on the letters that were drawn would win the round. In the numbers round, the contestants would request face-down number cards (something like six numbers in total), and they would have to use the basic four mathematical functions to manipulate the numbers in order to arrive at a randomly generated three-digit target number.

During each segment, while the contestants were coming up with their answers, soft music would play in the background - sort of like the Jeopardy theme, but less distinctive. I suppose it was sort of like elevator music.

Anyway, in the sketch, the joke was that the contestants and the staff are actually humming the tune instead of its being played in the background.



My actual point of writing this: I've seen this sketch so many times in my life and I know the tune by heart, but it wasn't until my sister noticed it recently that I recognized it as "Eleanor Rigby." I just never put two and two together. I suppose it never occurred to me that they'd be humming an actual song, and when you're not looking for it, you don't necessarily notice it. Now I'm wondering if the song choice itself was significant in any way or whether they just felt like humming "Eleanor Rigby."

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Re: Random

Post by Jubbers » September 30th, 2016, 10:33 pm

I certainly have never imagined dancing on a table to that song. :D

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Re: Random

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » October 2nd, 2016, 6:36 pm

According to this highly scientific study posted about on a super-reputable site, Dalty has been lying to us about the mildness of "cunt" in Britain:

https://www.indy100.com/article/british ... om-7340446

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Dalty
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Re: Random

Post by Dalty » October 3rd, 2016, 11:50 am

Depends on its deployment.

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Re: Random

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » October 3rd, 2016, 4:40 pm

Well, according to various memes I've seen, if it's Kuwait, it's not a real deployment.

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Re: Random

Post by Space Tycoon » October 6th, 2016, 8:32 am

My Irish co-worker uses it all of the time, except in female company.

Cue Dalty's anti-Irish potshot....

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Re: Random

Post by Dalty » October 6th, 2016, 11:54 am

I love the Irish.

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Re: Random

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » October 6th, 2016, 10:38 pm

Thanks to the all the Hurricane Matthew news, I learned of this:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waffle_House_Index

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Dalty
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Re: Random

Post by Dalty » October 7th, 2016, 6:45 am

That's my stuntman name!

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Re: Random

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » November 8th, 2016, 3:16 pm

They say that if a US American says "Rise up, lights!" with conviction, it sounds like he's saying "razor blades" with an Australian accent. They also say that a Jamaican saying "Bacon!" sounds like some Brits sound when they say "Beer can!"

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