Current Non-Annoyance

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We once roamed the vast forums of Corona Coming Attractions. Some of us had been around from The Before Times, in the Days of Excelsior, while others of us had only recently begun our trek. When our home became filled with much evil, including the villainous Cannot-Post-in-This-Browser and the dreaded Cannot-Log-In, we flounced away most huffily to this new home away from home. We follow the flag of Jubboiter and talk about movies, life, the universe, and everything, often in a most vulgar fashion. All are welcome here, so long as they do not take offense to our particular idiom.
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Quasar
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Current Non-Annoyance

Post by Quasar » February 12th, 2014, 8:55 am

Not only has my On Demand been error-free for months, but the other day when I turned it on, I got the shock of my life. They'd added CBS! Granted, so far they only have one show there, Undercover Boss. But the possibilities are infinite!

Oh, to not have to watch The Amazing Race live, knowing every other week it'll be delayed anywhere from a half hour to over an hour due to a football game (I guess that only actually affects the fall season and not the upcoming spring season). But STILL!!!

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Re: Current Non-Annoyance

Post by Dalty » February 12th, 2014, 3:22 pm

Current non-annoyance. The Dalty-Cave is nearing full readiness. I have a Dalty-Computer. The Dalty-Mobile is in residence.

Now I just need an 'Alfred'. She's from Eastern Europe. She starts at the end of the month.

Only for two hours a week though. I'm not Bruce freakin' Wayne!!

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Mal Shot First
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Re: Current Non-Annoyance

Post by Mal Shot First » February 12th, 2014, 3:32 pm

You have to decide whether you're Bond or Batman - and no, Fake Strider, he can't be both!

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Re: Current Non-Annoyance

Post by Dalty » February 12th, 2014, 3:40 pm

Both, there is no 'Why Not?' about it.

Now, more flat pack furniture because that's how I roll.

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Re: Current Non-Annoyance

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » February 12th, 2014, 5:11 pm

Do you want flat-pack furniture, or do you want rolling furniture? Make up your Daltin' mind!

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Re: Current Non-Annoyance

Post by Dalty » February 12th, 2014, 5:28 pm

You speak of futons?

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Re: Current Non-Annoyance

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » February 12th, 2014, 6:33 pm

No. No one deserves a futon. I'd put a federal prisoner on a mound of hay before I'd put him on a futon.

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Re: Current Non-Annoyance

Post by Mal Shot First » February 12th, 2014, 6:48 pm

You've managed to nod off before on the futon in my old apartment. Now, I'm not sure whether to attribute it to the "riveting" court intrigues in Rose of Versailles or to the futon itself, but any piece of furniture that can put an insomniac to sleep is okay in my book.

I think this also happened when you were watching me play Shadow of the Colossus, so it really may have been the effect of the futon.

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Re: Current Non-Annoyance

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » February 12th, 2014, 6:52 pm

It could also be that I had been awake for a week.

Also, that futon was way fancier than what I normally think of when I think of futons. The kinds of futons I've had in my apartments have all been an insult to the human form.

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Re: Current Non-Annoyance

Post by Mal Shot First » February 12th, 2014, 9:25 pm

Goiter and I have a mutual friend, who shall here be named as E.V. He used to host film nights at his apartment and would usually show old horror films. After dozing off during two or three such showings, I determined that it was probably his futon that was putting me to sleep. Sure enough, next time I opted to sit on a kitchen chair and made it through the movie.

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Re: Current Non-Annoyance

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » February 12th, 2014, 10:51 pm

The last time I sat in one of E.V.'s chairs, my ass turned it into scrap metal.

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Re: Current Non-Annoyance

Post by Dalty » February 13th, 2014, 7:49 am

I am currently sleeping on an inflatable bed. Not an air-mattress, but one of those full sized guest bed things. New bed doesn't arrive for a week or so. It's Ok from a support point of view, but being thin and full of air it has no insulation underneath me so has been a bit chilly in an old Victorian house with a British winter storm raging outside.

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Re: Current Non-Annoyance

Post by Quasar » February 13th, 2014, 3:43 pm

Remember that time E.V. threw a party, and somewhere in the conversation someone said how kewl Blockbuster was, so Goits went on a rant about how much Blockbuster sucked, and then he did this kind of Wicca curse on Blockbuster that weirded everyone out, and then E.V. started laughing at Goits for being so fucking weird, and so Goits went and pulled out a new jug of milk and stuck his dick in it and said this milk was going to be extra creamy, so E.V. pulled down his pants to moon Goits, but apparently that was what Goits had wanted all along and as he already had his dick out, he quick stuck it in E.V.'s butt, and then E.V. started howling and yelling at Goits, and Goits said that E.V. was protesting too much and that meant he really loved it?

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Re: Current Non-Annoyance

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » February 13th, 2014, 4:04 pm

Well, something tells me we just drove kah away again.

Here are two things that actually *did* happen at two of E.V.'s parties:

1.) A friend of mine had casual sex with an exchange student in E.V.'s bathroom. Everyone at the party apparently knew what was going on. The beers were all on ice in the bathtub. After my friend and the exchange student left, people were creeped out and everybody stopped going into the bathroom for bathtub beer.

2.) Another friend of mine got really drunk and ran some of E.V.'s books through with one of E.V.'s swords. This same friend once got drunk at my apartment and ripped up all of the first friend's old mail. Bills were among the mail. On another occasion, this friend brought a rubber chicken to my apartment, got drunk, disemboweled the chicken, then left me with hundreds of little rubber chicken bowel beads to clean up. I was still finding beads when I was forced to move out. (Being forced to move out is another story. I'm pretty sure I already told it.)

I missed both the above parties at E.V.'s place. I only went to one of his parties. It was too crowded for me. I didn't mind going to his place for movie night, but the parties were too much for me.

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Re: Current Non-Annoyance

Post by Mal Shot First » February 13th, 2014, 4:05 pm

And then J.B. impaled a book with a sword.

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Re: Current Non-Annoyance

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » February 13th, 2014, 4:05 pm

I mentioned that.

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Re: Current Non-Annoyance

Post by Mal Shot First » February 13th, 2014, 4:07 pm

Hm, the submission system didn't warn me about someone posting something before me. Otherwise I wouldn't have posted what I posted. Now I look like a fool. A DAMNED FOOL!

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Re: Current Non-Annoyance

Post by Dalty » February 13th, 2014, 4:14 pm

I don't know who EV is/was.

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Re: Current Non-Annoyance

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » February 13th, 2014, 4:46 pm

That must mean you skipped the cinematic adaptation of V for Vendetta. You're better off.

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Re: Current Non-Annoyance

Post by Dalty » February 13th, 2014, 5:10 pm

Natalie Portman?

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Re: Current Non-Annoyance

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » February 13th, 2014, 6:00 pm

Natalie Portman.

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Re: Current Non-Annoyance

Post by Dalty » February 14th, 2014, 8:06 am

Yes! When does she arrive?

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Re: Current Non-Annoyance

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » February 14th, 2014, 8:17 am

She's arrived. And to prove it, she's here.

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Re: Current Non-Annoyance

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » February 14th, 2014, 8:19 am


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Re: Current Non-Annoyance

Post by Dalty » February 14th, 2014, 8:28 am

Excellent. Have her freshly showered and talc'd and delivered to my quarters.

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