Huffy Fighter

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We once roamed the vast forums of Corona Coming Attractions. Some of us had been around from The Before Times, in the Days of Excelsior, while others of us had only recently begun our trek. When our home became filled with much evil, including the villainous Cannot-Post-in-This-Browser and the dreaded Cannot-Log-In, we flounced away most huffily to this new home away from home. We follow the flag of Jubboiter and talk about movies, life, the universe, and everything, often in a most vulgar fashion. All are welcome here, so long as they do not take offense to our particular idiom.
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Mal Shot First
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Huffy Fighter

Post by Mal Shot First » March 6th, 2014, 8:15 pm

Image

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Re: Huffy Fighter

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » March 6th, 2014, 9:13 pm

Look at all those beautiful motherfuckers.

I had to open the image in another tab to see the ones on the far right.

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Re: Huffy Fighter

Post by Mal Shot First » March 6th, 2014, 11:02 pm

I was hoping that this could be a collaborative project, the way the space exploration thread sort of became a collaborative effort. People can come up with backstories for their characters or maybe even for other people's characters.

The way I imagined the basic setup is that the final boss of the game would be Ol' Beau Watkins, sort of the way that M. Bison is the final challenger in Street Fighter II. Other than that, though, I haven't thought of a good reason as to why there are battles going on in the first place. One could go the lazy route and simply say there's some kind of tournament to determine the best fighter, but that sounds sort of lame. Presumably, each character would have his/her own reason to confront Ol' Beau Watkins. That's why it might be easier to start with the backstory for him and then work outward from there.

Maybe something like this:
Many tales are told of Ol' Beau Watkins. He goes about 6'7"; weighs 385 lbs. Legend has it he did twenty tours in 'Nam - ten of them with pneumonia. Then there is that time he ate a pair of wheels, a frame, a chain, a leather seat, and some handles... and then a week later shat out a whole bicycle. A big man, that Ol' Beau Watkins - probably close to 8'11½". He'd eat a homeless person if you dared him. Even if you didn't! That's Ol' Beau Watkins for ya! The only man man enough to saddle H***o and ride the lightning with him. He's got nothing to prove because he's already proved everything. Everything except one thing, that is. You see, Ol' Beau Watkins has never flounced off in a huff before... and now he's got a score to settle with a couple of real huffy flouncers.

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Re: Huffy Fighter

Post by Dalty » March 7th, 2014, 3:29 am

This is a thing of beauty.

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Re: Huffy Fighter

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » March 7th, 2014, 7:58 am

Ol' Beau Watkins was king of the Sun Palace, and he ruled his land with a fleshy but firm fist. He would pass a law the way a regular man would pass a gas, and he would expect whatever law he passed to be abided (or, if it pleases you, abode) dutifully (or, if it pleases you, dudely).

He was once thought a thoughtful and fair ruler. No other ruler could measure up. That's what they say. They also say all that changed, one day, when a corrupting influence rode into town. T'was a thunderous and vile beast. Or so they say. More, though, they will not say. They dare not even speak its name. Ask them for more, and they'll say thee, "Neigh!"

A mania beset Ol' Beau Watkins in the presence of this beast. He locked himself off from the outside world. And his behavior, his laws? Bit by bit, they became more bizarre. Through it all, his subjects humored him. But then. Oh, but then! Ol' Beau Watkins emerged from his seclusion, drew closed the drawbridge with naught but a tug from his mighty arms, and locked his subjects in with him. He then decreed each of them must--and this is a quote, my friends--"ESCAPE SIN!"

Escape sin! What utter absurdity! Was this not a decree to escape the Sun Palace itself? It seemed to be. Maybe some shred of decency beat yet in the breast of Ol' Beau Watkins. "Leave!" it seemed to whisper. "Leave this house!" A few brave souls took note and vowed in a huff to flounce.

It may be said the Sun Palace is many things, but a house made of straws or sticks it is not. It was clear it would take the grandest of huffs to flounce. It would take, too, getting past Ol' Beau Watkins. But here's the kicker: nothing gets past Ol' Beau Watkins.

There were, as there often are, tales of a chosen one. It had long been foretold that a demon child would be born of mortals, and that she would bear the flouncers' standard past Ol' Beau Watkins and on to freedom. So the hopeful flouncers bided their time and abided their leader's insane rule. They bided and they abided. They bode and they abode.

Then, when hope was all but lost, a winged baby burst forth fully formed from the womb of her mother-father. Could this be the demon child? Could this be the fabled Jubboiter? If so, then now was the time to strike. Excelsior!

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Re: Huffy Fighter

Post by Quasar » March 7th, 2014, 9:50 am

When the huffy flouncers met in secret, to decide whether they should stay or go, Fake Strider weighed in. Moments later, Fake Strider lay in ribbons upon the floor. It was a wondrous day for all.

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Re: Huffy Fighter

Post by Mal Shot First » March 7th, 2014, 10:31 am

It's clear that Goits is a more creative writer than I am.

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Re: Huffy Fighter

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » March 7th, 2014, 10:43 am

I made a few quick edits to the last paragraph.

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Re: Huffy Fighter

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » March 7th, 2014, 10:44 am

I admit that Cinescape and Mania were worked in pretty lazily. I didn't even bother with Excelsior.

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Re: Huffy Fighter

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » March 7th, 2014, 10:45 am

And that, some would say, is why it failed.

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Re: Huffy Fighter

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » March 7th, 2014, 10:56 am

I went back and bothered.

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Re: Huffy Fighter

Post by Quasar » March 7th, 2014, 11:45 am

OBTW's mighty steed H***o has learned there was a terrible, terrible show created in his image. The skies have been afire for days with Horo's rage. But on the bright side, H***o is currently sitting entranced before his widescreen television set as he endures every grueling minute of every episode. Meanwhile, the broiling skies continue to escalate.

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Re: Huffy Fighter

Post by Mal Shot First » March 7th, 2014, 12:11 pm

Sadly, H***o will not be a playable character, but he will appear as OBW's helper. As I was reading Goiter's write-up of OBW's backstory, I thought the corrupting effect of H***o was a nice touch. It's reminiscent of the One Ring, of course, but it's also pretty similar to the cursed Soul Edge from the Soul Calibur series.
* * *

One other thing I wanted to mention is that aside from the characters' backstories, we'll also need names for their special moves. Don't worry about coming up with the actual content of these moves (i.e., what they will actually look like on screen or what the input will be) - just brainstorming on some names would be enough for now.

For example, Goiter will definitely have a super move called "Free Gas." Maybe one of the specials could be named "Wall of Text."

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Re: Huffy Fighter

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » March 7th, 2014, 12:26 pm

Mal's opening move is a given.

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Re: Huffy Fighter

Post by Jubbers » March 7th, 2014, 1:19 pm

Two moves for me could be Code Fixer and Horrendously Bad Photoshop.

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Re: Huffy Fighter

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » March 7th, 2014, 1:21 pm

"Sad Kafka" should be its own move.

Atreju's horse-drowning powers may come in handy during the final battle.

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Re: Huffy Fighter

Post by Jubbers » March 7th, 2014, 1:45 pm

The Swollen Goiter of God wrote: Atreju's horse-drowning powers may come in handy during the final battle.
That also involves Sadness.

Man, I'm depressing.

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Re: Huffy Fighter

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » March 7th, 2014, 2:00 pm

Better a Swamp of Sadness than a Bog of Eternal Stench.

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Re: Huffy Fighter

Post by Quasar » March 7th, 2014, 3:37 pm

The Bog of Eternal Stench, brought to you by Goiter's Free Gas.

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Re: Huffy Fighter

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » March 7th, 2014, 3:40 pm

It's a place where he who smelt it is only he who dealt it when he who smelt it is Goiter.

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Re: Huffy Fighter

Post by Mango » March 8th, 2014, 10:13 pm

Old Man-Go is said to be a master of chain attacks

Also Blocking.

Also not actually blocking when he said he would block.

Also, failing forward

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Re: Huffy Fighter

Post by Mal Shot First » May 13th, 2014, 3:47 pm

[size=150][b][color=#FF0000]The Swollen Goiter of God[/color][/b][/size]
ImageImage

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Re: Huffy Fighter

Post by Dalty » May 13th, 2014, 3:54 pm

Hahahahahahahaaaaaa

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Re: Huffy Fighter

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God » May 13th, 2014, 6:56 pm

I want "Pound of Flesh" to be a masturbation move. Is it?

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Re: Huffy Fighter

Post by Dalty » May 14th, 2014, 11:44 am

That's "Pound The Flesh"

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