It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

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We once roamed the vast forums of Corona Coming Attractions. Some of us had been around from The Before Times, in the Days of Excelsior, while others of us had only recently begun our trek. When our home became filled with much evil, including the villainous Cannot-Post-in-This-Browser and the dreaded Cannot-Log-In, we flounced away most huffily to this new home away from home. We follow the flag of Jubboiter and talk about movies, life, the universe, and everything, often in a most vulgar fashion. All are welcome here, so long as they do not take offense to our particular idiom.
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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by Dalty »

I am pro spanking. Is that wrong?
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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by Mal Shot First »

You mean you're a pro-spanker?
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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by Dalty »

Got it down to under a minute!
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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God »

Jubboiter is autistic. She has almost no concept of risk aversion, and she's doesn't understand cause and effect the way most kids her age do. She may never understand, and we may never know whether or not she understands. She would have to be beaten daily and severely for it to begin to have an effect on her decision making processes, and the manner of the beating would have to be near identical every time for her to begin to connect the dots. In effect, she would have to be systematically and perpetually tortured.

If I ever catch anyone spanking her, I will be very upset. I may even spank the spanker. I may even break both my hands doing it.

Right or wrong, spanking has lasting and damaging psychological and physical effects, and countless bits of scientifically arrived-at data show that it's either less effective than other parenting techniques or that it's only approximately as effective as other techniques. I understand why people feel they need to do it, but the ones who do it tend to have had it done to them. It's a thing that's passed down, like a family religion.

Most of those who pass it down do so because they know no other way. They make the "I turned out OK, so it must work" assumption. That's anecdotal evidence. Tons of kids who are spanked don't turn out OK, and tons of kids who aren't spanked don't turn out OK. Tons of kids who are spanked turn out OK, and Tons of kids who aren't spanked turn out OK.

Discipline's still incredibly important. It's unhealthy to let your child do whatever he wants to do or get whatever he wants. It sets up unreal expectations. That's its own kind of negligence and abuse.

Then again, I was spanked an average of three times a week. Often until welts formed. Sometimes until I bled. I turned out OK, so it must work.
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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by Mal Shot First »

Goiter was even spanked by a truck one time when he was 7.

Fucking Alabama, man.
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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God »

The truck was a German truck in Germany, but it was full of the Alabama spirit. I complemented this with some Alabama blood in its grill.
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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by Mal Shot First »

Mal Shot First wrote:Fucking Germany MAN.
Fix'd.
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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God »

Mal Shot First wrote:Fucking German VAN.
Now more Fix'd than before!
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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by Jubbers »

The Swollen Goiter of God wrote: She would have to be beaten daily and severely...
She also has a messed-up sense of pain perception, so if one was looking to actually physically hurt her to deter behavior, spanking probably wouldn't be very effective.
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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by Dalty »

So even though she is still only tiny she operates on a different level to us mere mortals and is impervious to pain. She's right on track for world domination. It's all part of her plan.
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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God »

The Swollen Goiter of God wrote:This is the cousin whose father is a celebrity chef and who has a three-year-old who weighs over sixty pounds.
The cousin's husband is in the hospital. His wrist is broken, he has three cracked ribs, and he has a punctured lung. Why? He was bucked off a horse. Once again, I find myself interested in something related to my pretty uninteresting cousin.

The husband must have been bucked pretty high. The horse must have also been bucking pretty hard, considering how big the guy is. He's my exact height and weight--according to my cousin, anyway. He's 6'3" and weighs 275 pounds. (I learned this the other day when she shared a chat exchange with Facebook. Some guy had been flirting with her via SMS, and she threatened to sic her husband on him. She then gave the flirter the husband's measurements.)

Aside from the similar proportions, the husband doesn't really look like me. I did, however, discover that a former Wash.U. colleague married and had a kid with a guy who could easily pass for my brother. The resemblance is pretty striking. He even has my brow ridge and dresses like I do. His beard is going grey in the same spots, to boot. When Jubbers saw him, she said this: "Wow. He looks a lot like you. You could play brothers in a movie, and people would think you were actual brothers." I didn't mention that I thought the guy resembled me. I just happened to have the image open when Jubbers walked by and looked at the screen.
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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by Dalty »

6'3" and 275 pounds?

She's married to a small, European style chiller cabinet and icebox combination?
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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God »

She's married to a U.S. Southern male of fairly typical proportions.
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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by Jubbers »

I'm not married to the very model of a fridge made by the General.... Electric.
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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by Dalty »

:)
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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God »

She's not the married model of a modern major a-ppli-ance.
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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by Dalty »

ENOUGH!
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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by Dalty »

;)
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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by Mal Shot First »

The Swollen Goiter of God wrote:I did, however, discover that a former Wash.U. colleague married and had a kid with a guy who could easily pass for my brother. The resemblance is pretty striking. He even has my brow ridge and dresses like I do. His beard is going grey in the same spots, to boot. When Jubbers saw him, she said this: "Wow. He looks a lot like you. You could play brothers in a movie, and people would think you were actual brothers." I didn't mention that I thought the guy resembled me. I just happened to have the image open when Jubbers walked by and looked at the screen.
[/quote]
Man, I totally thought the same thing when I saw a picture of him, but I forgot to tell you about it.
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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God »

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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God »

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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by The Swollen Goiter of God »

Hot.
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Re: It's Not Alabama This Time, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Post by Dalty »

I have finally found a pair of cheap, trashy lesbians that are completely incapable of turning me on. Well played God, well played.
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