The Pro Wrestling Thread
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We once roamed the vast forums of Corona Coming Attractions. Some of us had been around from The Before Times, in the Days of Excelsior, while others of us had only recently begun our trek. When our home became filled with much evil, including the villainous Cannot-Post-in-This-Browser and the dreaded Cannot-Log-In, we flounced away most huffily to this new home away from home. We follow the flag of Jubboiter and talk about movies, life, the universe, and everything, often in a most vulgar fashion. All are welcome here, so long as they do not take offense to our particular idiom.
We once roamed the vast forums of Corona Coming Attractions. Some of us had been around from The Before Times, in the Days of Excelsior, while others of us had only recently begun our trek. When our home became filled with much evil, including the villainous Cannot-Post-in-This-Browser and the dreaded Cannot-Log-In, we flounced away most huffily to this new home away from home. We follow the flag of Jubboiter and talk about movies, life, the universe, and everything, often in a most vulgar fashion. All are welcome here, so long as they do not take offense to our particular idiom.
- Adam54
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The Pro Wrestling Thread
Since the topic comes up sporadically in the most random of places, I figured it might not be a bad idea (or at very least, it's the polite thing to do) to consolidate it all in one clearly labelled thread so that people like Dalty and the other women with no interest in the subject can just stay away without accidentally being subjected to it.
I suspect this'll largely wind up being me talking to myself, but that's a typical day anyway so it works.
Anyway, yesterday was "Black Thursday" in the WWE as 11 people got fired, presumably because of the beating the stock has taken lately. A couple were surprises, but the majority made me go "He was still employed? Huh." Two members of the Three Man Band were let go, which were most surprising as they were on a sort of mini push lately.
Also, Brodus Clay got let go. He's arguably the closest thing to a Goiter twin the sports entertainment world has ever seen. He's now off to Japan, apparently to fight for the rights of dolphins. Good for him. http://www.wrestlezone.com/news/483485- ... in-hunters
I suspect this'll largely wind up being me talking to myself, but that's a typical day anyway so it works.
Anyway, yesterday was "Black Thursday" in the WWE as 11 people got fired, presumably because of the beating the stock has taken lately. A couple were surprises, but the majority made me go "He was still employed? Huh." Two members of the Three Man Band were let go, which were most surprising as they were on a sort of mini push lately.
Also, Brodus Clay got let go. He's arguably the closest thing to a Goiter twin the sports entertainment world has ever seen. He's now off to Japan, apparently to fight for the rights of dolphins. Good for him. http://www.wrestlezone.com/news/483485- ... in-hunters
- The Swollen Goiter of God
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Re: The Pro Wrestling Thread
Ted DiBiase is the closest thing to a Goiter twin the sports entertainment world has ever seen. Well, that's what I feel like on days when I feel handsome and refined. On days when I feel less handsome and refined, Earthquake seems like a better candidate.
- Adam54
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Re: The Pro Wrestling Thread
Ted DiBiase now or Ted DiBiase in his prime?
- The Swollen Goiter of God
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Re: The Pro Wrestling Thread
I only know him in his prime. Is he still around? I know he has a son wrestling. His son is 6'3" and 225 pounds. Those are more like my stats when I'm in *my* prime. I haven't been anywhere near that prime since 2004, but maybe I can get back there some day.
I can't.
But maybe I can.
But I can't.
I can't.
But maybe I can.
But I can't.
- Adam54
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Re: The Pro Wrestling Thread
The son is virtually out of the business at this point, actually, only working the occasional independent show. He was pretty talented, but apparently wanted to spend more time with his family.
Here's Dad DiBiase in his prime. Coincidentally, this is the exact suit I imagine Dalty wears most of the time.
![Image](http://bloximages.chicago2.vip.townnews.com/carrollcountytimes.com/content/tncms/assets/v3/editorial/8/50/850db16c-302c-11e2-9073-0019bb2963f4/50a6a29f5615f.image.jpg)
And here he is now (2010):
![Image](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/6/67/10.1.10TedDiBiaseByLuigiNovi.jpg/225px-10.1.10TedDiBiaseByLuigiNovi.jpg)
Here's Dad DiBiase in his prime. Coincidentally, this is the exact suit I imagine Dalty wears most of the time.
![Image](http://bloximages.chicago2.vip.townnews.com/carrollcountytimes.com/content/tncms/assets/v3/editorial/8/50/850db16c-302c-11e2-9073-0019bb2963f4/50a6a29f5615f.image.jpg)
And here he is now (2010):
![Image](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/6/67/10.1.10TedDiBiaseByLuigiNovi.jpg/225px-10.1.10TedDiBiaseByLuigiNovi.jpg)
- Adam54
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Re: The Pro Wrestling Thread
Oh, and I forgot to respond to your question. Ted Sr. still pops up sporadically, usually when they're doing some sort of "Old School" themed show or a special edition like the 2000th episode of Raw.
- The Swollen Goiter of God
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Re: The Pro Wrestling Thread
Dalty could never wear that suit. He'd pack on the pounds.
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Re: The Pro Wrestling Thread
I imagine Thursty sitting at his computer, desperately trying to come up with puns, and then settling on ^that^.The Swollen Goiter of God wrote:Dalty could never wear that suit. He'd pack on the pounds.
[fimg=http://i182.photobucket.com/albums/x17/ ... 20831M.gif][/fimg]
- The Swollen Goiter of God
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Re: The Pro Wrestling Thread
I wish. While I have certainly dug long and hard for some pretty terrible posts in the past, that one popped out pretty fast.
Somehow, there's more dignity in digging long and hard for a bad post than there is in producing one willy-nilly.
Somehow, there's more dignity in digging long and hard for a bad post than there is in producing one willy-nilly.
- Mal Shot First
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Re: The Pro Wrestling Thread
Dignity. Always, dignity.
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Re: The Pro Wrestling Thread
This was instilled in me by Mom and Dad from the very beginning. They sent me to the finest schools.
- Adam54
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Re: The Pro Wrestling Thread
"The finest schools in Alabama" is the very definition of damning with faint praise, no?
- The Swollen Goiter of God
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Re: The Pro Wrestling Thread
I was quoting Singin' in the Rain. My parents didn't send me to shit. By the time I was one, they weren't even married anymore.
- Dalty
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Re: The Pro Wrestling Thread
Yes, that's the reason I don't like wrasslin', because I tried it once and bruised my vagina.Adam54 wrote:...... like Dalty and the other women with no interest in the subject can just stay away without accidentally being subjected to it....
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Re: The Pro Wrestling Thread
Vaginas can bruise?
- The Swollen Goiter of God
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Re: The Pro Wrestling Thread
Ask yourself what vaginas are made of, Adam, and then ask yourself what all can bruise on a human.
- Adam54
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Re: The Pro Wrestling Thread
Skin. They're made of skin.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Right. I'm with you now. Carry on.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Right. I'm with you now. Carry on.
- Dalty
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Re: The Pro Wrestling Thread
No, please don't. I fear if I am subjected to any more tales of derring-do by a spandex clad waste of humanity I may never be the same.
- Dalty
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Re: The Pro Wrestling Thread
Of course, it's all an act - this acting so antsy about wrasslin' , because my Wrestler name would be "The Cunt".
Surprisingly difficult to sell PPV events in the Bible Belt.
Surprisingly difficult to sell PPV events in the Bible Belt.
- Adam54
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Re: The Pro Wrestling Thread
This is why I made a separate thread, you Moldovian Popsicle!Bananarama's Bouncy Bits wrote:No, please don't. I fear if I am subjected to any more tales of derring-do by a spandex clad waste of humanity I may never be the same.
- Dalty
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Re: The Pro Wrestling Thread
We were talking about my Popsicle in the thread about Reg's psychic knee.
- Adam54
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Re: The Pro Wrestling Thread
Damn it, The Cunt. This Sunday at Flouncemania II in Mobile, Alabama, I'm gonna pound you so hard!!!Bananarama's Bouncy Bits wrote:Of course, it's all an act - this acting so antsy about wrasslin' , because my Wrestler name would be "The Cunt".
Surprisingly difficult to sell PPV events in the Bible Belt.
- Adam54
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Re: The Pro Wrestling Thread
Bananarama's Bouncy Bits wrote:We were talking about my Popsicle in the thread about Reg's psychic knee.
I missed this thread. Who is Reg and how does he have a psychic knee?
- Dalty
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Re: The Pro Wrestling Thread
I am genuinely a little disgusted right now.
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Re: The Pro Wrestling Thread
We should talk about how utterly stupid some of professional wrestling's catchphrases are.
I'll start with the Rock's "It doesn't matter!"
This is a catchphrase? I mean, I guess I see some of the charm in the catchphrase concerned with what he was cooking and whether or not you could smell it.
It's just that "It doesn't matter" is such a commonplace thing to say. Sure, I guess he inflected it in his own special way, but c'mon. And I guess it's kinda cute in a YTMND Interruption Fad sort of way, but it's still just a guy saying "It doesn't matter!"
I remember someone asking me a question during the height of the phrase's popularity and then interrupting my answer with "It doesn't matter!" Someone else then high-fived him, and yet another person said something like "Booooom! He got you good, Goiter!"
Really? Because he fucking responded with "It doesn't matter?" Of course, then I had to have it explained to me that this was the Rock's catchphrase, since I didn't already know. Then I was mocked for not knowing that it was his catchphrase. Then I was mocked for not watching wrestling.
Mind you, this wasn't when I was a kid. The catchphrase caught on in 2000 or so. I was in my early twenties. The people making fun of me were in their early twenties.
The catchphrase was popular enough to be turned into a pretty shitty Wyclef Jean song. What the hell, wrestling fans?
The commonplaceness of the line reminds me of this one time a guy tried something else on me that totally flew over my head. I can't remember what it was I did to provoke this response from him, but I did something, and when I did, he squinted his eyes, gritted his teeth, pointed his index finger at me, and then sort of shook his arm. He then looked at me expectantly.
"What's that supposed to be?" I asked. "Don't you know the Evil Monkey from Family Guy?" he asked. In this case, I was actually familiar with the thing he was referencing, but how the fuck am I supposed to be expected to connect this pretty unremarkable action he's doing to Family Guy? You point your finger at me, and I'm supposed to go "Ah! Family Guy! Very clever!"? And then I'm expected to find it funny for some reason?
Fuckin' people, man.
I'll start with the Rock's "It doesn't matter!"
This is a catchphrase? I mean, I guess I see some of the charm in the catchphrase concerned with what he was cooking and whether or not you could smell it.
It's just that "It doesn't matter" is such a commonplace thing to say. Sure, I guess he inflected it in his own special way, but c'mon. And I guess it's kinda cute in a YTMND Interruption Fad sort of way, but it's still just a guy saying "It doesn't matter!"
I remember someone asking me a question during the height of the phrase's popularity and then interrupting my answer with "It doesn't matter!" Someone else then high-fived him, and yet another person said something like "Booooom! He got you good, Goiter!"
Really? Because he fucking responded with "It doesn't matter?" Of course, then I had to have it explained to me that this was the Rock's catchphrase, since I didn't already know. Then I was mocked for not knowing that it was his catchphrase. Then I was mocked for not watching wrestling.
Mind you, this wasn't when I was a kid. The catchphrase caught on in 2000 or so. I was in my early twenties. The people making fun of me were in their early twenties.
The catchphrase was popular enough to be turned into a pretty shitty Wyclef Jean song. What the hell, wrestling fans?
The commonplaceness of the line reminds me of this one time a guy tried something else on me that totally flew over my head. I can't remember what it was I did to provoke this response from him, but I did something, and when I did, he squinted his eyes, gritted his teeth, pointed his index finger at me, and then sort of shook his arm. He then looked at me expectantly.
"What's that supposed to be?" I asked. "Don't you know the Evil Monkey from Family Guy?" he asked. In this case, I was actually familiar with the thing he was referencing, but how the fuck am I supposed to be expected to connect this pretty unremarkable action he's doing to Family Guy? You point your finger at me, and I'm supposed to go "Ah! Family Guy! Very clever!"? And then I'm expected to find it funny for some reason?
Fuckin' people, man.