American Idol

[Quasar]

The new season started last night. I like the new judging panel. Harry Connick Jr was funny in that he kept railing about no one knowing who he was. Ryan Seacrest seemed strangely absent though. They don't have him talking to contestants, for some reason. Instead they put the contestants in a chamber, and then don't show any of the footage (probably for good reason, since it's likely all repetitive and boring i.e. "this is my last chance to make it!")

[The Swollen Goiter of God]

I just tried to go to Hulu to see if they had more than clips available. I typed in "hu" the way I always do, assuming autofill would take care of the rest. I was surprised--though maybe I shouldn't have been--to see that "huffyflounce.com" was what popped up.

Anyway, all they had was clips. Dumb.

[Dalty]

Who else is on the panel this time round?

[Quasar]

Keith Urban & JLo.

[neglet]

I haven't been interested in watching this show since America voted two country singers into the finals. American voters have poor judgment.

[The Swollen Goiter of God]

So country singers are inherently inferior?

[Quasar]

Their music is.

[The Swollen Goiter of God]

[Dalty]

Everyone knows that America only hast 3 types of music.

Country
Western
Rap

[The Swollen Goiter of God]

There was a fad in the mid-aughts that combined the two. Its representatives included Big & Rich, Cowboy Troy, Gretchen Wilson, and Colt Ford. It is sometimes called "country rap," sometimes called "hick hop." It's some of the worst shit I've ever heard in my life.

[Dalty]

All three??

[The Swollen Goiter of God]

I went ahead and considered country and western to be the same thing. There was a genuine distinction back in the forties and fifties, but they've since merged. The Blues Brothers made a joke about this more than thirty years ago.

[Dalty]

Did they ever demerge, causing Taylor Swift to write a song about it?

[The Swollen Goiter of God]

Here's that joke:



A lot of people who like this joke are unaware that there ever was a distinction. It makes her statement all the more absurd to them. And, really, why should anybody know that there was ever a difference? We're not all pocket music historians.

The original distinction was between cowboy/plains music (eventually known as "western") and hillbilly/Appalachian music (eventually known as "country"). The former focused on guitar- and harmonica-driven songs with a tendency toward ballads, the other on fiddle- and banjo-driven music with a tendency toward hymnals and descriptions of the minutiae of life. There was some cross-pollination, naturally. The upright bass became a big feature of both, and both developed a similar kind of dance music.

There were artists who were considered to be firmly in one camp or the other. All the singing cowboys (Tex Ritter, the Sons of the Pioneers, Gene Autry) were considered to be "western," as were western swing outfits like Bob Wills and the Texas Playboys. Fiddlin' John Carson, Vernon Dalhart, Jimmie Rodgers, and Cliff Carlisle all came to be known as "country."

Another thing that sets western and country apart is the influence of blues on country. Western music was pretty well locked off from blues until the advent of the radio.

* * *

I've been expecting Taylor Swift to write a breakup song with country, since she's pretty clearly a pop artist at this point.

[Dalty]

You seem to know an awful lot about all this.

[The Swollen Goiter of God]

Maybe I just copied and pasted.

[Dalty]

Maybe.

Maybe....... NOT!

[Fake Strider]

Why not both?

[Quasar]

I was just about to say that Goits was going to turn into Strider!

[The Swollen Goiter of God]

Preventative measures were taken.

[Dalty]

Next thing you know, Thursty will turn up.

[Mal Shot First]

Is Nelly's Country Grammar considered country hip-hop?

[Dalty]

I found this online. It's a pretty great read!




[Chorus: Nelly]

Hmmmmm
I'm goin down down baby, yo' street in a Range Rover (c'mon)
Street sweeper baby, cocked ready to let it go (HOT SHIT!)
Shimmy shimmy cocoa what? Listen to it pound
Light it up and take a puff, pass it to me now

I'm goin down down baby, yo' street in a Range Rover
Street sweeper baby, cocked ready to let it go
Shimmy shimmy cocoa what? Listen to it pound
Light it up and take a puff, pass it to me now

[Nelly]
Mmmmm, you can find me, in St. Louis rollin on dubs
Smokin on dubs in clubs, blowin up like cocoa puffs
Sippin Bud, gettin perved and getting dubbed
Daps and hugs, mean mugs and shoulder shrugs
And it's all because, 'ccumulated enough scratch
just to navigate it, wood decorated on chrome
and it's candy painted, fans fainted - while I'm entertainin
Wild ain't it? How me and money end up hangin
I hang with Hannibal Lector (HOT SHIT!) so feel me when I bring it
Sing it loud (what?)
I'm from the Lou and I'm proud
Run a mile - for the cause, I'm righteous above the law
Playa my style's raw, I'm "Born to Mack" like Todd Shaw
Forget the fame, and the glamour
Give me D's wit a rubber hammer
My grammar be's ebonics, gin tonic and chronic
Fuck bionic it's ironic, slammin niggaz like Onyx
Lunatics til the day I die
I run more game than the Bulls and Sonics

[Chorus]

[Nelly]
Who say pretty boys can't be wild niggaz?
Loud niggaz, O.K. Corral niggaz
Foul niggaz, run in the club and bust in the crowd nigga
How nigga? Ask me again and it's goin down nigga
Now nigga, come to the circus and watch me clown nigga
Pound niggaz, what you be givin when I'm around nigga
Frown niggaz, talkin shit when I leave the town nigga
Say now, can you hoes come out to play now
Hey I'm, ready to cut you up any day now
Play by, my rules Boo and you gon' stay high
May I, answer yo' +Third Question+ like A.I.
Say hi, to my niggaz left in the slamma
From St. Louis to Memphis
From Texas back up to Indiana, Chi-Town
K.C. Motown to Alabama
L-A, New York Yankee niggaz to Hotlanta
'ouisiana, all my niggaz wit "Country Grammar"
Smokin blunts in Savannah
Blow thirty mill' like I'm Hammer

[Chorus]

[Nelly]
Let's show these cats to make these milli-ons
So you niggaz quit actin silly, mon
+Kid+ quicker than +Billy+, mon
Talkin really and I need it mon
Flows I kick 'em freely mon, 'specially off Remi, mon
Keys to my Beemer, mon - holla at Beenie Man
See me, mon, cheifin rollin deeper than any mon
through Jennings mon, through U-City back up to Kingsland
wit nice niggaz, sheist niggaz who snatch yo' life niggaz
Trife niggaz, who produce and sell the same beat twice, nigga
(HOT SHIT!) Ice niggaz, all over close to never sober
From broke to havin bro-kers my price Range is Rover
Now I'm knockin like Jehovah - let me in now, let me in now
Bill Gates, Donald Trump let me in now
Spin now, I got money to lend my friends now
We in now, candy Benz, Kenwood and 10"s now
I win now (Whoo!) Fuckin lesbian twins now
Seein now, through the pen I make my ends !

[The Swollen Goiter of God]

Is Nelly's Country Grammar considered country hip-hop?

It's not. Things like southern rap/hip-hop and the Dirty South are considered to be sub-movements within rap.

Country rap/hick hop is considered to be a sub-movement within country.

Southern rap is way more tolerable than country rap.

[Dalty]

Do they say Hot Shit in parenthesis?

If not, at least a Niggaz?