Substitute Tales

[Dalty]

Bats 89 really hasn't aged well.

[The Swollen Goiter of God]

You shut your whore mouth!

[The Swollen Goiter of God]

But, yeah, you're right.

[Dalty]

I don't remember a furore when it changed the origin so that the Joker was the killer in the alley.

Life before the Internet might have been easier.

[The Swollen Goiter of God]

I remember telling people how it was different from the comics and feeling pretty proud of myself. I was all "Red Hood!" and "Joe Chill!" and everybody was all "Who gives a fuck, man?"

[Mal Shot First]

When I was a kid, I didn't know that this was not how the story went. Batman '89 was my first exposure to Batman outside of the 60s TV show, so I didn't know any better. I still don't think it's such a big deal, other than the fact that it would be a huge coincidence.

[The Swollen Goiter of God]

It's really not a big deal. It didn't bother me much as a kid--beyond how big a coincidence it was. I was just proud to have knowledge others didn't have. In other words, I was a shit.

[Dalty]

No Goiter. You were THE shit.

Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.

[Quasar]

He was a big shit in a little toilet.

[Mal Shot First]

That is the grossest and most disrespectful metaphor I've ever heard anyone use to describe Goiter's sex life.

[Dalty]

Can't be. Nobody mentioned the coke bottle.

[Djack Zteelecock]

I remember telling people how it was different from the comics and feeling pretty proud of myself. I was all "Red Hood!" and "Joe Chill!" and everybody was all "Who gives a fuck, man?"

I remember DaForce (a poster at Cinescape who had once managed a comic book shop (I think) and who was big into comics) saying how he would have this exchange with other comic fans at the time: "Have you heard 'Batman' made $250 million?' 'Yeah, imagine what it would've made if it was good.' I didn't think the joke was funny, except that it had a little bit of a Comic Book Guy from 'The Simpsons' vibe to it, but I thought it might've given a little insight into how the comic book reading community at the time felt about the movie. Of course, Quasar and his friends were also into comic books and they loved the movie, so there were clearly different factions. Not sure what DF's problems were with the movie; he never elaborated beyond "sucked" AFAIK. Anyway, I was originally going to respond to just say that Red Hood was a retcon from earlier comics, too, AFAIK, though I've read that DC declared 'The Killing Joke' to be canon, so I guess Red Hood is cannon, too.

[The Swollen Goiter of God]

I was nuts for it when it came out, and I was a pretty big comic fan. I was nine. My ex-stepbrother was a bigger comic fan than I was, and he was also pretty keen on it. He was eighteen at the time. I'm not sure I would have liked it that much if I had seen it for the first time at eighteen.

Alan Moore's version of the Red Hood storyline got backdoor-canonized when they made Barbara Gordon's paralysis a part of main-world continuity. Bill Finger's Red Hood was also the Joker underneath, but stuff was different. I have the Bill Finger issue (either Detective Comics 158 or 168), if you want to read it.

[Dalty]

Kim Basinger at the height of her screamy, weepy powers. What's not to like?

[The Swollen Goiter of God]

She was like a slightly less annoying Kate Capshaw!

[Dalty]

Nicer boobage, but an oddly dribble strewn mouth in some scenes.

[Jubbers]

Today I learned that 7th Graders associate "I've fallen and I can't get up!" with LifeAlert commercials, not Steve Urkel.

[Mal Shot First]

As they should.

[The Swollen Goiter of God]

I'll go ahead and repeat what I said on Jubbers's Facebook wall:

"This one of those bizarre instances where the younger kids know the original reference point and the older kids don't."

[Dalty]

Do American kids spend a lot of time falling over? If not, why do they even need to deploy this phrase, regardless of origin?

[The Swollen Goiter of God]

They have cruel streaks. They think it's funny, so they will pratfall just to be able to say it.

[Dalty]

And when does Jubbers turn into Tom Berenger and machine gun the drug dealing snot nosed punks?

[The Swollen Goiter of God]

Yesterday.

[Dalty]

Good girl.

[Mal Shot First]

I wonder how many public schools in the US have already turned into the kind that was foretold by Class of 1984.