Huffy Flounce

...I asked Goiter for help developing a pun. I legitimately enjoyed the majority of the list of 22 puns which followed.

I feel like my entire life has been a lie.

That's how comedy dies. Not with a roar, but with a titter.

He asked me on Fcebook. Titter wasn't involved.

...all my troubles seemed so far away....

I'm still curious to know which option Adam54 chose and what ingredients went into it.

The Swollen Goiter of God wrote:He asked me on Fcebook. Titter wasn't involved.

Gonna need a few days of over this first before I can answer that.

That was just for you.

The Punmeister General, ladies and gentlemen.

The Swollen Goiter of God wrote:I'm still curious to know which option Adam54 chose and what ingredients went into it.

Captain Morgan Phillips. The ingredients were both rum and Coke.

I lobbied hard for That Thing You Mountain Dew though, believe me.

For context, Adam said he needed a Tom Hanks-related pun for a drink for something called "Tom Hanksgiving." Here's the (slightly edited) list I sent, if anyone is interested:

(1) Captain Morgan Phillips
(2) MargaRita Wilson
(3) The Polar Espresso
(4) You've Got Ale
(5) Rum Punchline
(6) That Thing You Mountain Dew
(7) Saving Private Rye 'n' Ginger Beer
(8) Bosom Muddies (two mudslides--one slightly taller than the other--served side-by-side)
(9) Gin and Tomic
(10) Maizes and Mon-stirs (an unshaken mixed drink, served primarily on Mondays, that incorporates one or more corn-derived spirits)
(11) Big Splash
(12) Mojito and the Volcano
(13) Feuerzangenbowlest Gump
(14) Down-the-Hatch Me If You Can (served, naturally, in a can)
(15) The Man with One Red Shoey (would require a Bierstiefel)
(16) Larry Crowne-bambula (a variation on Krambambula)
(17) Robert LangDom (would require Dom Pérignon; would not be cheap [unless you used a cheap sparkling wine in its place--which I suppose you could do as long as you told them that's where the "Rob" came in])
(18) DaiquiRita Wilson
(19) "There's a Snake in My Flute!" (would require flutes and snakes)
(20) Rita Wilson's War
(21) Sherry-f Woody (for this, you must choose a sherry that retains a strong flavor of cask)
(22) The Green Mai Tai

I also pointed out that "Hooch" was right there in one of Hanks's movies' titles. I also suggested "Tequila Wilsooon!rise," which was admittedly pretty labored, and "TeqRita Wilsoooon!rise," which was even more labored.

I considered "Family Mai Ties," but I didn't suggest it. Hanks plays an alcoholic on Family Ties. (The character he plays is such a desperate alcoholic, in fact, that he downs a bottle of vanilla extract when he can't find any booze in the Keaton household.) Seemed in bad taste.

I also considered suggesting something like "Fill-a-Delphi-Up" (would require 7 Up), but that, too, would have been labored. Also, for a person to buy that a Delphi is something one can even fill up, it would require knowing that "Delphi" is etymologically linked to the Greek for "womb." Then you'd probably want to come up with a reason why you'd be filling up a womb in the first place, and you'd probably arrive at rank horniness. From there, you'd probably want some kind of workaround wherein you explain that the drink is basically a Sex on the Beach (Hey! Delphi has beaches!), but with 7 Up in place of orange juice.

You are some kind of savant.

All the food was named in some sort of Tom Hanks pun (Green Bean Mile Casserole, Sleepless in Seapple Pie, etc.) and we were in charge of beverages. The girlfriend assigned me to "Think up some funny name for a drink related to a Tom Hanks movie." I said "You got it" and immediately pulled out my phone to deliver a message of "Um, Goiter? Help! This is what you've been training for."

Within two hours I had the list you see above. Two hours.

The list itself really only took about fifteen-to-twenty minutes. Jubboiter and I were at the YMCA when I got the message, and I didn't do any serious work on it until I had put Jubboiter to bed.

I am genuinely impressed!

He read the list aloud to me, and I interrupted before he reached 11 to ask if he had a Splash pun, since my employer makes an alcoholic beverage with Splash in the name.

I'm rather Ipsy with puns.

The Swollen Goiter of God wrote: I considered "Family Mai Ties," but I didn't suggest it. Hanks plays an alcoholic on Family Ties. (The character he plays is such a desperate alcoholic, in fact, that he downs a bottle of vanilla extract when he can't find any booze in the Keaton household.) Seemed in bad taste.

I remember that episode. I always thought his performance was not the greatest. Figured he was good for laughs but not much else. How wrong I was later proven to be! He has definitely improved with age.