Random

[The Swollen Goiter of God]

All this TMNT talk made me want to revisit this really shitty, Flash-animated TMNT porno made over a decade ago. I think I probably showed it to Mal back in the late aughts.

I started looking for it, but all that kept popping up was something that looked a lot better, was longer, and was clearly done a lot more recently. It also uses animation and audio from the show to help establish itself. Nice touch. That said, it's lazier, animation-wise.

It occurred to me that I should narrow my search range so that it was between 2000 and 2005. This directed me, finally, to the video I'd been looking for.

Thanks to my search, I learned something about the video I hadn't known: it was some Harvard kid's final project for a Visual and Environmental Studies course. It was apparently screened for the whole class. Who knew? It's pretty easy to find the video if you do a search for its title. It's also pretty easy to find the newer one. You just do a search for "TMNT pr0n." I guess they're both pretty novel, but they're not all that worth watching beyond that.

[Dalty]

Anime pr0n is something else I just do not get.

[The Swollen Goiter of God]

These are more about comedy than getting off.

[Dalty]

Comedy pr0n is something else I don't get. I get enough laughter whilst naked, thank you very much!

[The Swollen Goiter of God]

Sounds like there's a lot of pr0n-related stuff you're not getting these days.

If you don't count trips abroad, I mean.

[Dalty]

Trips abroad are like magical stuff. They don't count.

She was smoking hot though.....

[The Swollen Goiter of God]

I'm sure she was smoking something.

[Dalty]

What are you trying to say? Sounds like you are having a pop!

[The Swollen Goiter of God]

I had a pop. He died.

His wife just mailed me his toenail clippers.

[Quasar]

You, my friend, just hit the jackpot.

[Mango]

I really wish I had thought to grab a bottle of scotch before coming home tonight.

[The Swollen Goiter of God]

My stepmother doesn't know this, but I am a collector of toenail clippers. (Do I still call her my stepmother? Do I still call her my father's wife? Didn't death do them part? Isn't she just some lady I know, now?)

[The Swollen Goiter of God]

I pushed part of a milk jug ring through the hole meant for a beaded chain. Just to make sure I didn't get it mixed up with all my other toenail clippers. A man can never have enough toenail clippers.

[Mal Shot First]

Why do you insist on calling them toenail clippers? Couldn't you just as well use them for fingernails?

[The Swollen Goiter of God]

You could, but fingernail clippers are smaller. Toenail clippers are larger. The toenail clipper end has less of a curve, so if you're going to use it on fingernails, it requires more clips per nail.

That's a lie. They have the same curve. The difference is in leverage. The toenail clippers are longer and sturdier, so it is easier to snip thick, fungal toenails with them than it would be would be to snip them with fingernail clippers. They're also longer. You may need the reach, depending on your flexibility. Fingernail clippers are shorter, more intimate. They allow the person more control.

Mostly, I call toenail clippers toenail clippers because that's how the packaging identifies them.

[The Swollen Goiter of God]

Big difference. Huge difference. One's a Rough Collie, and the other's a Shetland Sheepdog.

[Dalty]

I think I can see the bottom here. I think it's made of rock.

[The Swollen Goiter of God]

The above image would appear to support my claim about fingernail clipper ends having more of a curve than toenail clipper ends, but it should be noted that not all manufacturers follow this. The curves on my Revlon set are more or less the same.

[Jubbers]

I've been married to The Swollen Goiter of God for three years now.

[Dalty]

It's after noon here, therefore doesn't count.

[The Swollen Goiter of God]

Is that a thing?

[Dalty]

It is. At noon all fools must come forward and pranks revealed. Any played after noon do not count.

[Dalty]

I have a new Business Analyst at work. He looks like a thin, less tall Ol' Beau Watkins.

[The Swollen Goiter of God]

Pics or it didn't happen.

[Dalty]

Every time I see him I don't have my phone in my pocket. But I will make it a mission!