Huffy Flounce

Their father's a doctor, their mother's a lawyer, and they live in a two-story house in Brooklyn. "Burgher" just doesn't do them justice.

Burgers?

Adam54 wrote:A bagel just liked me! I repeat, a BAGEL JUST LIKED ME!

Heard today at Stitch 'n' Bitch: "my dad says the Christians have ruined bagels."

Onanation Masse's "Lox and Bagel" is the perfect merger of Jew and Gentile:

http://wagsrevue.com/Issue_10/WatkinsSongs/LAB.mp3

I'd embed it, but embedding it makes it play automatically.

Athletico Madrid vs Chelsea in the Champions League. Looks like Mourinho is parking the bus. Hope he doesn't do this against Liverpool on Sunday as Manchester City look like they might get their mojo back.

What does any of that have to do with bagels?

They have sex with the bagels after the games (matches?)

They're cheating on the donuts?

I cannot help but notice that the BBC website does not have a Baseball section. Why is this?

Cos nobody plays it?

You blasphemous British strumpet!

Shut yer cake-hole you sugary Finnish bagel!

Damn it, Dalty, he's a coffee!

But he has a hole like a bagel!?

But not where it counts!

IN YOUR FACE!!?!??

DON'T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE, LIMEY!!!!

These days you are lucky to clear your belly button!

Looks like defending with 10 players and waiting for opportunities to launch counterattacks is the road more and more teams are taking, even at the highest levels of the game. It almost worked for United in the second leg of the CL-quarterfinal against Bayern until they abandoned their defensive strategy for whatever reason. Chelsea's defensive wall secured them the aggregate victory in the quarterfinals, and Mourinho was betting on the same strategy in the first leg of the semifinal. Real let Bayern control the ball and needed only a handful of chances to score the winning goal.

I'm not complaining - it's the right approach to the types of opponents these teams are playing - but you'd think that a supposedly great manager like Guardiola would be more flexible in his own approach to tactics. Next to Mandzukic, Bayern has a seasoned striker in Pizarro whose potential is simply left untapped on the bench. When you notice that your opponent has put up a massive defensive wall, why would you stick to your no-striker or single-striker strategy?

I long for the old days of two designated forwards.

Meanwhile Liverpool are having a very successful season playing explosive, pacey attacking football. Liverpool v Chelsea on Sunday!

I'm pulling for Liverpool.

By this I mean that I'm about to jerk off while With the Beatles plays in the background.

It's one hell of an end to the season here. Liverpool have Chelsea (home), Crystal Palace (away) and Newcastle (home) to go. They get 7 of the 9 points left up for grabs and they win the championship.

But Manchester City have a game in hand i.e. 4 games left to play. Liverpool drop more than two points and City win the championship.

And Chelsea are also still in with a shout, especially if they take points off Liverpool on Sunday.

So fucking close.

The conversation about the goalkeeper in the pro wrestling thread reminded me of something. Dalty, have you ever heard of a book called The Keeper of Dreams (German title: Der Traumhüter)? It's about a no-name German goalkeeper, Lars Leese, who had played fourth-tier soccer in Germany and came very close to getting picked up by a Bundesliga club as a second backup. By a stroke of chance, he was offered a deal by Barnsley in the late 90s, where he didn't have much hope of actually playing. At 28 years of age, he had never played a single match at the highest level until he had to step in at a moment's notice when Barnsley's regular keeper was carried off the pitch with an injury.

It's a very entertaining read that you might find enjoyable. You could read it on one of your travels. Unfortunately, I don't know how the English translation holds up to the German original.